SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:31am
No, even more at bottom, they both involve human interactions. The burning question is, so whopping what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:35am
Have you ever heard of a sahm who contributed nothing financially to the home? Most sahms work up until having children and then return to contributing money to the family pot soon after the youngest is in school. Yes, there's possibly a few yrs when the sahp is given food, clothes and necessities from the family pot. But it's not a donation, it's very much earned.

I worked and put my entire life savings into the down payment of our home and also used some of "my" money for my expenses and needs and wants for the first few yrs of sah. I guess I could sit down with paper and pencil and fight it out with DH, but we didn't need to do that. He's a little more mature than that. I could put in writing the money we save by not paying for dc.

Do you think it's reasonable to equate a sahp with a welfare recipient? IMO, that's not reasonable, but extreme, unreasonable and indicative of something going on under the surface.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:44am

Nothing really, I just didn't understand why you would be upset with PNJ's assessment of SAH as a dependency.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:52am

No, I don't equte the two as the same.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:33pm
I'm not upset.

I'd be willing to wager that there isn't a person in America who is not "dependent" on someone for something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:43pm
No, you're not being supported by the govt. Not even a bit. Devin paid INTO Social Security and now you are simply receiving that money back, plus interest.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:48pm

For some reason, I thought I was resonding to LTB.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:50pm
I would like to think that Devin and I were interdependent on each other but I have feeling we were codependent. Maybe that is why I am having such a hard time adjusting.

"When death like a gypsy comes

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:58pm

Kristi Kristi Kristi....

We all have a little codependence in us!! LOL.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 1:54pm
I can completely understand how the poster's supervisor blamed her working status on her relationship with her children. Some people have a difficult time balancing work and parenting. In my own case, I regret working as much as I did when dd1 was young. I was determined not to make that *mistake* again, and yes, IMO it was a mistake. I don't think it harmed my rel'shp with dd, but I do think my rel'shp would be better if we had spent more quality time together. Guess I wasn't as good as lots of the WMs here. I was tired at the end of the day. I know I had less energy for dd than I do with my kids now when I SAH. Based on my past parenting experience, I decided I wanted to do things different. I wanted to be their primary caregiver until they start school. I am a big time believer in they are only little for such a short time. I wish I could get more time back with dd1. I don't mourn over it, but I definately have regrets. I have spent most of my younger children's lives AH with them. Its been 6 years and now they will both be in school. 6 years is nothing in my life - a drop in the bucket. My skills haven't deteriorated, in fact I have kept current in my profession (courses and occasional employment)and I have learned a whole new profession.

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