SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:22pm
wow. you're on a tear tonight aren't you??? let's just tackle some of these nasty wohm stereotypes you have banging around in your head....UGH.

<< What is it that sahms contribute? Well, how about they are there for their children?>>

as are wohms each and every day

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how about making the necessary adjustments to continue to woh AND raise their kids?

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psst...wohms stay home with their sick children too, LOL!

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SEE. THERE's the problem with your mindset. DC was IN ADDITION to our care, NOT instead of. It was BENEFICIAL and a wonderfully warm, caring time in their lives -- all IN ADDITION to the VAST MAJORITY of the time that they spent at home. HOW in the world could i NOT have been "spending those years with my children"???? LOL.

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I'm home by 4 and only work 181 days per year. My sisters have both done a fabulous job as MOMS even though they work more days per year than i do. Funny, even as a wohm, i still found time to make dinner, go to the park or the library, reading,play games, ride bikes, etc....around here, we call it GOOD PARENTING.

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i'm sorry you can't see this with that 1,000 lb CHIP on your shoulder, but wohms can contribute to the GNP AND raise their kids, LOL.

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no, we probably couldn't have -- at least not with the kinds of things, activities, etc that we wanted to provide for them. PLUS, i LOVED my job and LOVE being a teacher.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 12:08am

I pointed out interdependence is the BEST option.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 7:56am
Exactly!! And I'm sure there are others out there too. There were a lot of things my ex-fiance wouldn't "allow" and thankfully I told him where to go or I too would've been in that type of a situation...but worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:41am







Okay, you pointed out the one similarity being lack of occupation.

Now I'll point out some differences between myself and a typical welfare mother.

1. I'm a college educated person with a Bachelor's degree and a license to practice nursing. Many welfare moms don't even have a high school diploma.

2. I am married. Most of them aren't.

3. My kids all have the same father--my husband--and he's a responsible man who contributes his time and money to the task of raising them. Whereas welfare moms often have multiple children by multiple fathers who contribute nothing to their children.

4. Welfare moms have a considerably higher rate of criminal convictions than do sahws of professional men. Drug addiction is also higher with welfare moms too.

5. Children of welfare moms more often will exhibit poor academic performance and the liklihood of them dropping out and never finishing high school is much greater.

6. The children of welfare moms don't tend to be involved in the extracurricular activities as much as children of sahms.

7. Welfare moms often raise their children in crime-ridden neighborhoods. This is not true of sahws of working professional men who tend to live in upper middle class neighborhoods.

8. Domestic violence is more prevalent in the homes of welfare moms than in the homes of sahms with working husbands.

9. Welfare moms are also more likely to contract STDs than sahms with working husbands.

10. And the most major difference, IMO, is that I, as a sahm receive emotional support from my husband. Welfare moms usually have little to no emotional support from anyone.

I used to work in the public health clinics and saw this everyday. I can say with 100% certainty that my life is nothing like that of the typical welfare mother, nor are my childrens' lives similar to those of her kids.

Yes, I am dependent on my husband and he's also dependent on me. Professional men whose wives are sahms tend to advance further in their careers than men with wives who woh. I don't see that as a problem. Some women who feel the need to compete with their husbands may view it as such; but since I feel no need to compete with dh I'm not at all bothered by it.

Perhaps it is human to feel so strongly about something that you forget that others differ. But if a person is confident that the choices they've made are the best for them, why would they feel the need to attack the choices of others? Do they need to do this in order to validate their own choices? This I don't understand because I know a lot of mothers who sah and woh, and those who are truly happy with their lives, and who truly feel that they are doing what is best, don't bash others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:44am
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:43am
Pshaw. Hard time adjusting to a spouse's death? How natural when you actually loved him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:54am
But only the WOHP is willing to support the SAHP, and there are many ways to take care of the couple's children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:56am
My mother died at 63.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:57am
There was so much discussion launched from my earlier point, I just thought I'd put it there so all could see it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:59am

"I can't imagine how a mom wouldn't WANT to spend those years with her children. "


I do spend "those years" with my children, just not 24/7 during those years.

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