If it's anything like the parent night out at my son's preschool a few years ago, they put the children to bed at what ever time you want...usually around 8pm.
Hey, today he was riding his trike at Grandma's and he pooped on the driveway then rode over it on his trike. Double yuck. I thought he was over his pooping outside on sidewalks, driveways, and grass phase. What happened today and what happened the day with the tufts of grass coming out of his bum, I was there probably within two minutes of the event. Are your children never left momentarily without supervision? Is that what you are getting at in your post? A certain level of negligence that you would never be party to?
Oh please. It is hardly criminal behavior. I just put my four year old to bed, at 10:20, because he wanted to snuggle on the couch and watch Olympic swimming. He might be a little cranky in the morning, who knows. But he has never seen the Olympics before and he got to be with Mommy and Daddy for an hour all by himself.
It's called making an exception. You should try it once in a while.
LOL. The last 4 nights of sleep training, I'd be HAPPY if she'd be asleep by 10 PM. I put her in bed around 9, but it takes her about 1 1/2 hours to wind down in her room. (no sugar no caffein either!)
That is where this discussion goes wrong. The question isn't 'Which is better?' The question is which is best for one's family?
SAH was best for me and best for my family. It was very important to me that I spend my son's younger years at home. I wanted to be with him and do all those June Cleaver mom things like go to the park, bake cookies, nap together, go to the farm, color together, etc. etc etc. Yes, yes, yes, I know, you can do all those things after work and on the weekend, but I didn't want to squeeze in my quality time from 6:00 to 7:00 PM.
Now he's in school all day and my time as a SAHM is done. That time -- four years -- went by in a blink of an eye. They grow up so fast.
I went to California when DS was in the middle of potty training. My best friend and I were sitting in the park and DS got that "look" on his face. I immediately rushed over to him, but no visible evidence of activity. He went along playing merrily. I got up to do something and there, in the middle of the path, was *it.* *It* had fallen out of his pants. Ewwwwww!
I am a negligant mother, BTW. My DS has been trained since he was two to entertain himself while I work. Oh, the shame.
You know, I wonder if part of the reason some of us wanted to do those things is because we never had them? I think to some degree, our choices are based on our pasts. I know pnj saw her sahm mother as unhappy and unfulfilled. I've heard posters like Cyndi talk about their mothers financial struggles, and their own determination to NOT go through that.
I had parents who were very removed from my life-they loved me but werent really *there* for me-emotionally or otherwise. And I waited what I felt was a long time to have kids. I wasnt going to have any more after ds, and didnt want to miss a SINGLE minute. I wanted to be there for my children in ways my parents never were-and I could have accomplished that regardless of work status, but I also really wanted to physically be there the majority of the time. It was important to me, and to dh, to give our children something we felt like we missed out on as kids. And for us, physical presence was part of that.
That makes sense. On the other hand, I feel I have so much to live up to in terms of how my parents parented, if I even got part of it right, I'm happy. My Mom WOHM, but that's not why I did it; plenty of my aunts were SAHMs when we were little and the family just pulled together to support EVERYbody, so I've never seriously considered the idea that either choice was inherently superior to the other--you just do what works for your family, and you just step in to help your other family members in the way that you can best do that.
I think both responses are a fair and sensible response to how we were raised. If you think there were lapses it's just plain sensible to try to address them in your own parenting, and if you think your parents did well, again, it's just sensible to try to emulate them.
Exactly. I grew up with violence, hatred, abuse. My mother abused me physically, emotionally and verbally. I wanted my DS to have the *love* I never had and I wanted to give it to him, to wallow in it, as much as I could. I needed the time and space to be the mother I wanted to be: loving, emotional, in the here and now. I have had my ups and downs with DS and have done a few things I have regretted, but I consider myself a great mother. Because I was home with DS, I had to learn how to be patient and how not to be abusive. That is my greatest gift to him -- that he is growing up in a non-violent, loving home with two parents who love him to pieces. Sometimes I feel that God has given me the childhood I never had. I look at DS and think, "He will never know how lucky he is. Thank god." What I consider a gift, he will see as *normal.*
I am now consigned to "cushion" shoes -- ie: orthopedic and good walking shoes -- to help cushion my back when walking. I wore a pair of dressy sandals to temple yesterday -- my back was killing me after an hour.
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If it's anything like the parent night out at my son's preschool a few years ago, they put the children to bed at what ever time you want...usually around 8pm.
PumpkinAngel
I guess I don't get your point to OTBM.
It's called making an exception. You should try it once in a while.
LOL. The last 4 nights of sleep training, I'd be HAPPY if she'd be asleep by 10 PM. I put her in bed around 9, but it takes her about 1 1/2 hours to wind down in her room. (no sugar no caffein either!)
Mondo
SAH was best for me and best for my family. It was very important to me that I spend my son's younger years at home. I wanted to be with him and do all those June Cleaver mom things like go to the park, bake cookies, nap together, go to the farm, color together, etc. etc etc. Yes, yes, yes, I know, you can do all those things after work and on the weekend, but I didn't want to squeeze in my quality time from 6:00 to 7:00 PM.
Now he's in school all day and my time as a SAHM is done. That time -- four years -- went by in a blink of an eye. They grow up so fast.
outside_the_box_mom
I am a negligant mother, BTW. My DS has been trained since he was two to entertain himself while I work. Oh, the shame.
outside_the_box_mom
I had parents who were very removed from my life-they loved me but werent really *there* for me-emotionally or otherwise. And I waited what I felt was a long time to have kids. I wasnt going to have any more after ds, and didnt want to miss a SINGLE minute. I wanted to be there for my children in ways my parents never were-and I could have accomplished that regardless of work status, but I also really wanted to physically be there the majority of the time. It was important to me, and to dh, to give our children something we felt like we missed out on as kids. And for us, physical presence was part of that.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I think both responses are a fair and sensible response to how we were raised. If you think there were lapses it's just plain sensible to try to address them in your own parenting, and if you think your parents did well, again, it's just sensible to try to emulate them.
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
outside_the_box_mom
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