SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:26am
I do think I"m a better mom to my children because I observe and attend to their sleep needs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:37am
My cousin's 3 yo ds (also the youngest of 4) did that twice on the beach during our recent vacation. There were no less than 4 adults within 20 feet of him, but he was pretty much finished by the time anyone could get to him. Took him no time at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:49am
Yup. John had those times, too, growing up. Some days, his typical bedtime was simply too early because he wasn't tired. Didn't happen all the time (or his bedtime would have been adjusted to address it), but it happened sometimes. And sometimes he'd fall asleep on the couch the minute we came home from work/daycare, and I'd make dinner, try to rouse him and if he really didn't wake easily (he had two "speeds"--wake immediately, or not at all), I'd pick him up, carry him to bed, take his shirt and shoes off and there he'd be until morning.

Same thing with when we either needed to or chose to stay up/out later than normal. We'd either arrange for extra rest time before, or plan quiet, low activity days to follow such a night and John would stay up later.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:52am
Routines do not require strict adherence with zero deviation. That's a schedule.

Routines are fairly predictable, but allow for variations on the theme.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 11:37am
"I'm not willing to sacrifice my dreams for 21 years to do that." Me neither, and I can't imagine anyone, except apparently your mother, who is or was.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 12:00pm
I thought you wanted to continue to practice, at least pt, but you weren't able to find suitable child care.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 12:35pm
Hmm. See for me, letting my dd stay up for "an hour or two" would inevitably lead to my *not* having a good time. She'll be OK at 8.. maybe even at 8:30... maybe even at 9... then bam! without a warning, she'll totally be cranky (my dd too doesn't sleep well at others' houses unless she literally drops from 100% exhaustion). I'll have to rush to pack up stuff, hastly say 'good bye' to the others, then my dd will likely fall asleep in the car, then I won't be able to brush her teeth (yes, me too), give her her evening dousing of lotion (otherwise, will have a bad night of scratching), change her into her jammies (during which time she'll likely wake up and not go back to sleep w/o some trouble). For me, that half hour or hour of "fun" is not worth what is likely to happen as a result. I suppose if your kids are more "flexible" then it's not be such a big deal, though. I know that you know that it's not just the parents that have certain temperaments. Kids do too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 12:56pm
Someone (who I won't mention since others will freak!) always says, you have 2 chances in life to have a good parent-child relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:45pm
That isn't quite accurate. I seriously considered PT, esp. because a case on which I had been the sole associate was going to trial right as my mat. leave was ending, and did try to find suitable child care b/c I couldn't seriously consider returning without it. I would not say that it was the deciding factor. Regardless, how is my not working at least PT a "sacrifice" of 21 years of my dreams?


Edited 8/23/2004 1:51 pm ET ET by cocoapop
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:51pm
To sum up the argument then, one can say one SAH simply because one wants to (not because one is too paranoid to let another woman wipe one's cherubs' cakey bums and snotty noses). Just the way you say you WOH to achieve your dreams (not because you're paranoid you're going to turn out like your mother).

outside_the_box_mom

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