I'm going to keep feeling sorry for you. I think you (and your children) are missing out on some wonderful moments in life by being a slave to the schedule, I really do.
Many, many times this summer we've had friends or family over and the party has extended past the normal bedtime. Our kids have made some fabulous memories watching fireworks (which cannot be enjoyed before bedtime in our time zone, it simply doesn't get dark enough,) watching old movies and having pillow fights with cousins, camping in a tent, playing flashlight tag outside, taking a moonlit walk, swimming off the dock and in a friend's pool in the complete darkness, roasting marshmallows on the fire, catching fireflies, watching a wicked thunderstorm roll through, and so forth.
I guess we run in very different circles. We almost never hightail it out of friends' houses by 8 pm. That is just when things are starting to get fun! We send the kids outside or downstairs and we finally get to sit down, drink some wine and have some adult conversation. If there are some tired children, we toss them a blanket and tell them to find a quiet corner to sleep in.
"They aren't left alone long enough to have a bowel movement." I'm afraid that doesn't answer my question because I am not familiar with the bowel moving habits of your children.
Please don't be so hard on yourself! 8 months is not long ago at all from what's happened. Mourning can be a long process and there is nothing wrong with that. I admire your strength...that's what I see from your posts.
You brought up some great night time memories and fun! But, I don't think PNJ is that inflexible, from what I've read. And, to give her credit, aren't her kids much younger and therefore probably wouldn't be doing those activities you mention until they are older? I would guess her boys will be doing those types of things too.
I believe that two of my children are very close in age to her two children. And yes, I have two older ones as well and some of the activities I mentioned are more in league with their ages (6 and 8) but they have been doing these type of things since they were about 2 or 3. Most of our friends have 2 and 3 year olds as well. My sister and my SIL both spent a lot of time at my house this summer and they both have "just turned three" year olds.
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Many, many times this summer we've had friends or family over and the party has extended past the normal bedtime. Our kids have made some fabulous memories watching fireworks (which cannot be enjoyed before bedtime in our time zone, it simply doesn't get dark enough,) watching old movies and having pillow fights with cousins, camping in a tent, playing flashlight tag outside, taking a moonlit walk, swimming off the dock and in a friend's pool in the complete darkness, roasting marshmallows on the fire, catching fireflies, watching a wicked thunderstorm roll through, and so forth.
I guess we run in very different circles. We almost never hightail it out of friends' houses by 8 pm. That is just when things are starting to get fun! We send the kids outside or downstairs and we finally get to sit down, drink some wine and have some adult conversation. If there are some tired children, we toss them a blanket and tell them to find a quiet corner to sleep in.
Please don't be so hard on yourself! 8 months is not long ago at all from what's happened. Mourning can be a long process and there is nothing wrong with that. I admire your strength...that's what I see from your posts.
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
Unlike you, I do think PJM is very inflexible.
your lifestyle sounds like mine....From the time my kids were babies we were always attending boat functions.
Frankly, I think it's selfish to tell a 3 year old to go sleep in a corner, instead of taking him home and putting him to bed when he's tired.
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