SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 4:58pm
Not to my kids. They already know quite well that mom is an engineer and that that is something unusual. WRT my students, I'll find ways to drag engineering into the classroom and remind them of what I've done because they, girls especially, need that exposure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:01pm
I work as a cell biologist in industry research, but most of my family are engineers and I grew up around engineers (most of my dad's friends are engineers). Very few have retired early to another profession...I dunno, maybe they all fell into the specially talented category? The few people I know of who quit engineering to do something else did so because of burn out, not because they were curious to try new things. Of course, that still doesn't help explain why it is ok for all these engineers you know to leave the field to try something new, but not ok for a woman engineer to leave the field to SAH for a few years and then most likely try something new. Leaving the field is leaving the field, regardless of the reasons.

You are right, though, that very few scientists retire to another career... older scientists are enormously valuable for companies because, by the nature of the job, their knowledge base expands over the years rather than stagnating. Losing older scientists means losing a rich source of information and experience.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:05pm
BTDT didn't work. I had the misfortune of having the woman before me quit when she had babies. She, unfortunately, convinced our manager that women are too high a risk to promote. That track went to a male coworker, who did nothing with it, because he had a new family and it was assumed he would work harder to provide for them.

Having my own children derailed any chance of developing that specialty. I got mommy tracked as soon as I became pg. Hence a career change. I'm tired of stagnating. I want to move on and to do something constructive not a job any old engineer can do. WRT further training now to specialize in the company, I'm too old. If you're not on the fast track by your mid 30's you can pretty much forget. I, unfortunately, was having babies in my mid 30's. Timing is everything. I was offered a job that would have tech tracked me when dd#2 was 11 months old. Unfortunately, the job required 75% travel so I turned it down. The company dug a hole for me when I started having kids and I shoveled the dirt in when I didn't take the only offer I'd ever have to get out. There are no do overs in this kind of career. Just start overs in new careers which I'm going on to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:06pm
Yea, the chem teacher dragged into into the classroom plenty of times...the 16 year olds just didn't care. All they cared about was getting through the class and getting him to shut up as much as possible. Of course he was a perfectly fine teacher, I learned a lot from him, but he wasn't by any stretch of the imagination an inspired or inspiring teacher, so the kids just shrugged their shoulders and moved on.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:06pm
LOL, I would assume if they're home they want to be there. However, quitting your job when you have babies reinforces the stereotype that says women just quit. Yes, some do but most don't. Most women return to work before their babies are one year old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:32pm
Your kids know you are an engineer because...you ARE an engineer. But after years and years of seeing you be a teacher, which will be more in their minds as they go off to college? Especially the one who is six, who will have 12 years of seeing you as a teacher competing with a hazy, distant memory that you were once an engineer for a couple years (because she wont remember all 6 of her first years).

And the kids you teach? They will truly not care that you were ever an engineer. If you could tell them exciting tales from your days as forensic pathologist or Navy SEAL you could hold their attention. But an engineer? They will pay attention to what you say just enough to pass the test. You won't be an example to them of women in engineering because you WON'T be an example of women in engineering. That will just be an irrelevent factoid and won't make them see you as anything but what you currently are- their teacher. Althopugh some weisenhammer may pipe up from the back row asking why you quit. Not because he cares, but to stir up a little fun in the classroom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:34pm
Finding ways to be inspiring is the challenge of teaching.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:45pm
I bet when you explain to them the good points of you leaving engineering and bringing down the family SES you sound ironically like a soon-to-be-SAHM explaining leaving her profession. "Family time is more important than money. A mom who isn't stressed out all the time is more important than money." Or whatever it is you say to explain why you are leaving a well-paid position to make less money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:50pm
Well gee, aren't you worried that your employer will be less likely to hire female engineers after you because you are showing that women can't hack engineering and run back to feminine profesions so why hire them in the first place? You really out to think of future women applying to your company and how they might not get hired because of your quitting-engineering example. So what's to celebrate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:50pm
This lady really thinks we will consider her and not leave the work force she really needs to see the light. ha, ha


Edited 7/19/2004 5:53 pm ET ET by paigeandhannah

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