SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:27pm
Until women are raised to feel responsible for their own financial upkeep in life, and to actually expect to contribute in an obligatory way, rather than at will if and wnen they want to - the way we raise boys to feel obligated for the financial upkeep of themselves and their families - nothing is going to change. Its up to women to change it

Hard core feminist?

I'm all for women's equality but to say women should stay in the work force when they would rather be home tending to the house & children is wrong. That is making those women make choices they don't want to make & have to endure them unhappily.

I feel no obligation.

My salary doesn't go towards paying the mortgage or any bills. We use my salary in other ways but not to support us financially. It is something we never started from the first day of marriage and see no reason to start doing now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:28pm
LOL. No dear. Quitting when you pop out a baby and changing professions because you've reached a point in your career and life that you want to give back that which was given to you don't compare in the slightest.

Unlike the female engineer who quit when she popped out a kid after putting on a front that she was dedicated, I've made no pretenses. If she had given our manager the same 5 years notice I've given, he probably would have given me the job in the first place and not bothered with her. Unlike her, I will not take a career path I'm not willing to finish. I'll leave it for someone who really wants it.

I am no more sending the message that women can't handle it than the male engineers who are planing on leaving (who are all roughly my age with about my seniority (actually, I have more than all of them)) are sending the message men can't handle it. People start moving on in the late 40's/early 50's. I'm moving on to teaching. The men in my dept who are working on leaving are moving on to opening a dealership, opening a lawn service and private practice as a lawyer.

What you are missing is there is NO stereotype that says that females quit to go into teaching when they're 48. There is, however, a stereotype that says females quit when they have babies and there are enough women who do that it refuses to die. There is no risk that I'll start a stereotype on my own that says that 48 yo women quit to teach school and even if I did, I doubt that would be held against a 22 yo fresh out of college. No one is thinking 26 years into the future at that point. They will, however, think of the risk of her quitting if she has babies because she could do that tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:29pm
As long as women behave in stereotypical ways, the stereotypes will thrive. Some don't care about that and that.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:30pm

You can celebrate all you like, but it still doesn't change the fact that teaching is a stereotypical role for women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:30pm
Like it or not, when women behave in stereotypical ways they reinforce the stereotype. If you don't like it, prove them wrong and don't do what they stereotype says.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:31pm

You are absolutely correct.


But I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for an acknowledgement if I were you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:31pm
Obviously. Fortunately, I do care about your dd's futures.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:33pm

But aren't most engineers male to begin with? Doesn't make your statistic very compelling.


And it doesn't change the fact she's leaving a "male" profession for a "female" one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:34pm
When one event (having a baby) results in something happening (women quitting their jobs in this case), people start to think that the having babies causes women to their jobs. Why are people surprised by this? It simple. When you do what they stereotype says you'll do, you reinforce the stereotype. The only way to change things is to NOT do what the stereotype says you'll do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:38pm
Not to mention there is NO stereotype that says women leave to teach at 48 and even if there were, I doubt that would he held against a 22 yo applying for a job like the stereotype that says women quit when they have babies. 22 yo's do have babies but, according to my new stereotype (I'm flattered that they actually think I can start a stereotype all by my little self (BLUSH)), there's no risk of her quitting to teach until she's put in 20 years or so.

There's far more risk that a male engineer will take an early retirement than a female engineer will quit to teach.

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