SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:35am
Whoa, you have a problem with women working but their money doesn't go for living expenses & bills, don't you?

Why would this matter if it is how the dh & wife plan their life? Why would this matter to you when it doesn't affect you who pays the bills in a private home?

I don't care if you SAH, sit on your butt, and eat bon bons. Doesn't bother me. Doesn't concern me.

I don't care if you take your salary home & help with the mortgage or if you blow it at the local flea market hoarding up antiques every week.

Amazing that what others decide to do makes you any difference.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:22am

Paige, you know I respect your decisions, but I'm going to answer you honestly, from my heart.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:09pm
Oh sure, I forgot about the droves of men leaving their jobs as lawyers, doctors and engineers to become teachers and nurses. This isn't about changing careers, which I doubt that men do any more often than women anyway. It's about leaving a male dominated profession for a female dominated one that is perceived, rightly or wrongly (because perception is the key here), as easier, less stressful and less competitive.

<<>>

But I'll go back to the legal profession and put in my 25+ years total. She's leaving the engineering field permanently for a more traditionally female career. She's perpetuating the stereotype that women can't hack it in a male dominated profession every bit as much as I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:16pm
But Grimal hasn't even stuck it out for 25 years....it's been 10-15 years max, from everything I can tell. She was a SAHM for many years with her stepsons and then went back to college to study for a few years before actually working as an engineer. Of course I could be wrong about the exact numbers, but since she is currently 48 she would have had to start as an engineer at 23 in order to have been there for 25 years. This is possible if she went straight to university, straight into an engineering job afterwards and had no breaks at home at all, but that is not the case.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:21pm

Well, maybe that's industry specific too. If I were a Dr. or Lawyer, it would be very hard to become an engineer, and vice versa.


BUT, in my field (systems work), almost ALL of the guys I work with.... are engineers turned programmers-moved-on. Specifically my workmates WERE: aeronautics engineers, biochemists, one marine biologist, chemists who could not stand the work or found it didn't pay enough.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:34pm
I absolutely agree that it makes a lot of sense for her....but it does feed into the stereotype that women can't cut it in tech fields because she is not switching from one tech field to another (which is pretty common in my experience as well) but switching into teaching completely. She is going from a male dominated field to a female dominated field. Others WILL think that she is leaving because she can't cut it as a woman, and it doesn't really matter at all whether she could cut it or not or not or why she is leaving. There are plenty of people out there who are still suspicious of women's capabilities and will interpret a woman's action through their highly biased lenses....plenty who are in management positions.

Tech and sciences fields are pretty fluid: of the three IT/computer science guys in our department, two have PhDs in either microbiology or chemistry. They actually still use a lot of their science background for their IT/computer science work, so it was more a further specialisation for them rather than a complete switch of fields.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:41pm
People who hold stereotypes don't care what you're retraining for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:44pm

>>Oh I know...you have a million good reasons why *you* had to stay home. Whatever. Noone really cares<<


Exactly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:47pm
But on average noone stays in a particular company for more than 5 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:51pm
I doubt it.

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