Yup. After a 20 year career with the same company, over half of it with children, I think I've shown them that women can have kids AND be good employees. There is no stereotype that women quit after 20 years to go into teaching that I'm feeding. While a certain percent of engineers do leave for second careers, that's just the nature of the beast and it's not gender deteremined. There are four of us in my lab preparing to leave. I'm going into teaching, one man is going into law, one is quitting to start a lawn service and one is opening a motorcycle dealership. The majority of the employees are staying. Therefore, the stereotype is that there is a slight risk an engineer will quit in their late 40's/early 50's but most will stay. Unfortunately, when it comes to having babies, the stereotypes say that a high percentage of us will quit and those who don't don't want responsiblity. There are enough women who actually behave this way that this isn't going to die any time soon.
Not directed just at you as it's been running throughout the thread, but I get really tired of the sentiment that men "have GOT to support a non-working wife." Why is it always assumed that it's the wife's idea to stay home and the husband is just reluctantly going along with it? Short of something like a catastrophic illness that would eat up our savings (right now we've got enough to support ourselves for a couple of years if dh lost his job -- a large part of it due to what I earned when I WOH, btw), there's no way on God's green earth dh would have dual WOHPs in our family. If I announced tomorrow that I was going back to work and there's nothing he could do to stop me, he would promptly quit. He's the militant SAH in the family, lol.
And, yes, since I'm sure this question will come up, we did consider having him SAH, especially since I earned quite a bit more than him at the time I quit. We *both* decided that we're far too traditional to be happy with that arrangement. Stereotypical? Maybe, and, no, I really don't care. I'm not going to sacrifice my very real family to ideaology. But it's certainly not a situation where dh has GOT to support a SAH wife.
I read a study many years ago about perceptions in the workplace. One particular company had a high turnover rate among women in their sales force. When interviewed, managment said that it was because the women weren't agressive enough to be in sales. When the women who left the company were tracked down, something like 70% were still employed in sales.
Women don't have to leave to have babies to perpetuate the stereotypes. They just have to leave.
1. "We have everything we need to work and raise our children." I would disagree. I don't agree with you that six-week old infants should be in daycare 50 hours or more a week. A woman I know has her infant in daycare 7 AM to 6 PM every day. I do not think that is beneficial to the child.
Given that I do not think 50 hours a week of daycare is beneficial, I cut my hours back by going out on my own.
(BTW, I just read an article in Fortune that stated something like 24% of all businesses are women-owned. You made some crack about how I did what droves of other women are doing -- cut out of corporate to go on my own. Well, sweetie, women-owned, small businesses employ a great number of people. They are *beneficial* to society. I was also able to further my job skills faster than if I were in corporate. Just read another article in a trade pub that writers who are in corporate are isolated and have no inside support in furthering their skills. Hence, companies turn to people like me for fresh ideas and new energy.)
2. Men manage whether they want to or not. Men manage because men have been given a free ride. They don't have to do squat. A man can give his child a bath and be considered a "good father." Just read the posts here by some of our more "successful" women. Like your friend, GK/CLW. She is one who can't get her husband to help her, so she plays martyr and does everything herself. Men are able to manage because some women buy into the mindset that giving a child a bath is something to boast about. I remember one thread here where half the moms posted they wouldn't want their DH's to SAH because their DH's didn't know how to comb their daughters' hair or dress them in matching clothing.
3. I'm not sure what "rewards" you are talking about. My "rewards" aren't bottom line. My rewards include living a balanced life, having minimal stress, raising my child as I see fit, and being independent. That is why I work from home.
PS -- My DH works from home, too. His "reward" is he goes to the driving range 3x a week.
Why do I hate women? Because I won't pretend to not notice how they actually behave, and I actually expect women to change to help aquire what they say the want for themselves...rather than whining at the rest of society to change to accomdate them - and change in absolutley impossible ways at that (men with wives who have inferior incomes cannot reasonably be expected to opt to sah, can they)? I do actually *hate* that mentality.
You can doubt till you're blue in your face but women don't retrain for new careers nearly as often as men do. Its not about leaving for a female dominated profession being bad. Things that don't happen often...like men quitting to sah, don't affect stereotypes because there is no stereotype. Thats all. Fact it. The stereotype is about women not making it while the raise families - in any career actually. Which is something your behaviour totally confirms. And Grimals doesn't.
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And, yes, since I'm sure this question will come up, we did consider having him SAH, especially since I earned quite a bit more than him at the time I quit. We *both* decided that we're far too traditional to be happy with that arrangement. Stereotypical? Maybe, and, no, I really don't care. I'm not going to sacrifice my very real family to ideaology. But it's certainly not a situation where dh has GOT to support a SAH wife.
I read a study many years ago about perceptions in the workplace. One particular company had a high turnover rate among women in their sales force. When interviewed, managment said that it was because the women weren't agressive enough to be in sales. When the women who left the company were tracked down, something like 70% were still employed in sales.
Women don't have to leave to have babies to perpetuate the stereotypes. They just have to leave.
Given that I do not think 50 hours a week of daycare is beneficial, I cut my hours back by going out on my own.
(BTW, I just read an article in Fortune that stated something like 24% of all businesses are women-owned. You made some crack about how I did what droves of other women are doing -- cut out of corporate to go on my own. Well, sweetie, women-owned, small businesses employ a great number of people. They are *beneficial* to society. I was also able to further my job skills faster than if I were in corporate. Just read another article in a trade pub that writers who are in corporate are isolated and have no inside support in furthering their skills. Hence, companies turn to people like me for fresh ideas and new energy.)
2. Men manage whether they want to or not. Men manage because men have been given a free ride. They don't have to do squat. A man can give his child a bath and be considered a "good father." Just read the posts here by some of our more "successful" women. Like your friend, GK/CLW. She is one who can't get her husband to help her, so she plays martyr and does everything herself. Men are able to manage because some women buy into the mindset that giving a child a bath is something to boast about. I remember one thread here where half the moms posted they wouldn't want their DH's to SAH because their DH's didn't know how to comb their daughters' hair or dress them in matching clothing.
3. I'm not sure what "rewards" you are talking about. My "rewards" aren't bottom line. My rewards include living a balanced life, having minimal stress, raising my child as I see fit, and being independent. That is why I work from home.
PS -- My DH works from home, too. His "reward" is he goes to the driving range 3x a week.
outside_the_box_mom
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