SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 8:51am
I know of 4 people who've retrained in teaching. One was a priest and not a teacher before he left the cloth. One was a research chemist. One was a trader. One was an executive in the financial field. Only one of those was a woman. Men retrain period, far more often than women because they accept personal responsiblity for their and their family's financial situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 8:52am
I think you are really confusing the quit after 5 yrs to sah with the kids = can't cut it, with quit after 25 yrs to retire or persue another profession = can't cut it. Not even nearly sort of the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 8:57am
No the reason is that a)women feel far less personal obligation to provide for themselves, let alone their families and b)wives make less money than husbands.

Noone cares who does what after 25 yrs in. You have to deal with it. As I explained (and you totally ignored) quitting to retire altogether is perfectly acceptable after 25 yrs in - for men and women. Quitting to do something else, anything else, that earns a paycheque...is a cut above the retire option. There is no negative associated with quitting after a *lifetime* of service to do something else, even when that something else is nothing at all. Deal with it. You sold women out by doing less than the average man manages in your field. Grimal is showing women can do even *more* than is expected of the average man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:03am
Well why don't YOU go get a job, earn some income and provide YOUR husband with a financially realistic option of DOING JUST THAT. Assuming you didn't already ruin any chance of that ever being possible by quitting with babies. I managed to avoid taking away my husbands option to take advantage of family friendly arrangements. So too, if you follow closely, did GRIMAL. Go do YOUR part yourself now and stop whining at those of us who have done what we can are being held back by women who aren't willing to do their own part. You will notice if you ever bother, that the men doing it have wives willing to share the financial burden, and wives who have actually put themselves in a postion to do that very well. And wives who were probably willing at one point to convince a husband that it was the best way to go. We did it. Whats wrong with you? When whats wrong with you stops being wrong with so many wonen...you'll probably see what you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:04am
If your husband is *the millitant sah* in the family - why isn't he sah?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:18am
Most who leave one career for another will only do it if they don't have to bother retraining. She's getting second university education in order to make herself employable. All kinds of people aren't even motivated enough to get one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:22am
I'm doing it now. I'm a WOHM. It is a breeze IMHO.

We get up, have breakfast, go to school together. We have our day. We come home at the same time.

I do the same things I did when I was a SAHM. I cooked dinner with my dd along beside me helping me, she sits the table, she helps me do some things she can do. We all sit down as a family & eat. Then we have our evenings together as a family and she goes to bed.

Just like when I was a SAHM after she is all tucked in that is when I clean the house & run the washer and dryer.

The only difference for me btw working and not working is that dd & I are at school rather than playing, over at the playground, going places. I didn't clean at all during those hours anyway. Even when she took a nap that was my time to watch my soaps.

I will be doing it for awhile now unless I get pregnant, which would be great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:23am
Yes, I know men can SAH. I know a few SAHDs and I think it is great.

You got the wrong idea from my post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:24am
Oh heck yes, I consider 25,000 adults or 24% of new teachers to be a small ammount. The population of interest is "the population of adult" not the "population of new teachers". And 25,000 is a miniscule % of the adults isn't it? As as I pointed out, society has decided having teachers with previous experience, particularily sci/tech to be very desirable. Which means, as I pointed out, Grimal is actually choosing to do something society wants to see more engineers do. She's not opting out to do a "same old girl thing" in societies view. She's opting into doing a "desireable professional engineer thing" in societies view. Whether you like it or not. The 21 yr old woman going into teaching is a "girl" to society. The 50 yr old professional engineer going into teaching is an "engineer" in societies view. Its a title and designation that long term service to the field of engineering will gets you. Grimal earned it. Unlike the 21 yr old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:25am
I love your last paragraph especially. Let the truth be known.

My husband is a HR director. He will tell you that in two weeks in a large company they will not care why or if she left. They seek a new candidate, hire them, and move on with business.

Paige

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