SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 1:28pm
If you're 45, and you've been an engineer for 25 years, that means that you graduated from college at 20. You went on for dozens of posts a few weeks ago about how your ss's questioned why you delayed your education, thereby lowering their SES. You've also worked in a low paying job and SAH.

It doesn't add up.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 1:44pm
I've never been so happy for being "typical."

I am first and foremost responsible for myself and my family. Way, way down there on the list is worrying about the effect that my asking to go part time after having a baby had on my boss' opinion of my female coworkers.

I would suppose that, if I weren't so valuable and he had some sort of preconceived notion about employing mothers, he would have said "no" and just let me go. Or maybe he would just have hired an all-male staff in the first place.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 1:58pm
Sing it, sister. You said it much better than I did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:09pm
Try as I might, I can't make sense of your post or your position.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:16pm
There's also no stereotype of women changing careers on Wednesday, July 21. If a woman quit her job to SAH on July 21, she'd still be behaving according to the stereotype you've defined. You're just playing with words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:45pm
That won't work. You just get to loose.
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:49pm
Really? One of the mothers at our school just went through retraining -- the non-profit she worked at closed its doors -- and she knew she had to update her skills. My client used to be in marcom and went through training and now she is in IT. Neither one has quit to SAH and neither one works PT.

Most of the people I know who have quit to WAH are not unskilled. Far from it. My colleague and good friend started her own direct marketing firm. She works 30 hours a week, but before you snort, she bills out over $1 million a year. My other colleague just quit to start her own PR firm. She already employees four people (all men) and had to find a bigger office. She gets most of her clients press in major media outlets. My other colleague started her own agency -- she is one of the fastest growing firms in the her county and bills out, yes, over $1 million a year. And just so you know, many people who call themselves "freelance writers" and who work highly flexible hours are making $100 - $300K per year. They are far from unskilled. Trust me.

Perhaps you can provide some statistics for the "Pt/unskilled labor" thingie you just threw out there?

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:53pm
Do you mean Jorvia is feeling "too loose" or that she lost the argument?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:54pm
Yes. If my DH was going to be the SAHD we could live nicely on my salary.

Yes, he does make more, so we are able to live bigger living on his salary & using mine for play money.

The fact remains that I could provide for my family.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:58pm
If she quits her job at 50 to teach she's not supporting any stereoptype because there is none to support. Believe it or not...stereoptypes are often not just gender specific but age specific too. I know, you are having a very difficult time with that idea. But its not too late for you. You can retrain - even for a female dominated job if you want - and not be stereoptyped. Maybe you can then move out of the shoebox...and still have a career...and people will go *wow*...a lawyer who retrained to be a - whatever you want. You don't have to be a lawyer living in a shoebox to get the wow what a woman. In fact, I think that got old along time ago. If you still want that *I'm important thing* you need to do something else. Retraining is ALL the rage in the modern world. If you want to be truly impressive in a modern way, rather than in some stodgey old fashioned way - give it a wirl. You might even find a profession everyone in the world will veiw as "more stressful than a secretary's job". You'll like that.

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