SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 9:59am
Men almost always mean they work for their toys AFTER they're done working for food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their families. When women claim to do the same, they mean "instead of".
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:01am
Or course most men aren't ashamed of working for their toys. Most men out earn their wives and their paycheques are assumed to go to the necessary stuff first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:02am
THOSE THINGS determined the entire family domestic and financial picture.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:03am
Go get a job that pays as well as his - you know, a lifestyle alteration thanks to you that doesn't entail decreasing lifestyle all around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:07am
Of course not. He is the sole breadwinner whether I woh or sah.

He didn't want to quit his job anyway. He loves his work.

We would work on it after supper & on the weekends together. While he was at work during the work days I'd work on it.

I love being a teacher, but I wanted to to take time off to do this project, not doing it after 3 on the week days and on the weekends only during the school year.

I also just enjoying being a sahw for awhile when we first got married. It was nice.

We are now remodeling another house but this time I am a WOHM. We are still doing it ourselves.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:12am
Or care?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:13am
I didn't expect to be supported. I went to college, became a teacher, and was supporting myself, living on my own, when we married.

Yet when I did marry we decided to take my salary for play and his for living.

My point is that not all women in this position seek out to be supported.

My mother has been a nurse for years, she still works full time today. Her salary has always been her & Dad's play money. She has never yet paid a bill or bought groceries with her salary.

Yet she became a nurse not with the intention of using the money for play but to support herself. Then lo & behold she fell in love & got married. She didn't quit work, she only took 6 weeks maternity leave, but her money was always play money.

She was and still is in the position to support herself & Dad for that fact. She, like I, was never looking to be supported. We just got married & in our marriage we decided with our dh's that our salaries would not go for living but for play.

I guess you still have a problem with that huh?

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:40am
Do you have an equal problem with some men growing up expecting someone else to do all or most of the care of their future children? Because that is exactly the expectation that some men have- and thus prefer a SAHM. If their wives worked, they would suddenly be expected to do 50% of ALL domestic chores, including childcare. There are plenty of men who would rather do all the money-earning than 50% of the chores and childcare.

Of course the sweetest deal of all for men is that they have working wives who do >50% of the chores and childcare. You may think that situation doesn't exist and men automatically do their share at home when their wives work FT, but it ain't so for LOTS of women, including probably some of the posters here. I seem to remember from grimalskinskeeper's older posts, that her dh is one such man. I am sure she will corect me if I'm confusing her with somebody else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:03am

I was fixing up a townhome I lived in once, and pulled down the nasty orange and green wallpaper to find...... naked green geisha girls all over the bathroom.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:35am
I know if she is getting an FHA loan there are certain things (albeit stupid at times) that need to be done.

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