SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:36pm
I didn't mean to offend. But we spend the money on remodeling, new furnishings, and taking our dd on trips.

It is money (discretionary or play) that is not used for living expenses.

I just referred to it in the same term we utilize here between us. Again, no intention to offend.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:37pm
I think so. Paige
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:40pm
What I meant was all living expenses come solely from him.

Thanks, but no thanks. I am in way over my head with this old house we bought. I think some of the paper has been on the walls since the civil war era.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:44pm
I disagree.

We don't use my income. I'm not less of a woman. I'm not less of a wife or less of a mother because of it.

Every financial decision that is made, every move we have made, every purchase we have made we made together. I have just as much right to make the decisions that he does and we agree on that.

If he didn't, I would not be taking time off to SAH. Well, I wouldn't have married him in the first place & I'd be working to support myself.

I do cook and clean but wouldn't bash someone who doesn't have to do it. That would be a nice little dream to come true. I hate cleaning toilets, ack!

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:44pm
I prefer the term "discretionary income" too. I think when you say "play money" there is an unintended association of "play money from play job" (thus people worrying you don't take the job seriously). But if you say "discretionary income", the association is "discretionary income from discretionary job". It makes it sound like you can quit without losing your house but doing good and serious work while on the job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:48pm
Either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:49pm
Huh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:53pm
If it's "Either" then it isn't your "Womanhood" that gives you the "right" to SAH. . .it's the mutual decision made by partners with the financial means to make such decision and has nothing to do with your 'womanhood.'

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:59pm
Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you? You're making me nostalgic for "theroni." Not that you two are on the same team, but you're equally outrageous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:00pm
They were pressured into those female dominated careers by a society that had lead them to belive those were careers that were acceptable for *women*.

I'll take the sunset on the female choice to sah, well before I'll take the sunset on the female choice to work to earn just as well for their families as do men. Sorry, but the female *choice* to sah exists more than anything, becuase there is no male *choice* to sah. Females refuse to prepare themselves to ever provide their husbands with that choice. Its a female responsibility to make the choice available to men. The minute men take it upon themselves to prepare themselves for that choice, which will be when as many boys as girls grow up expecting to have a spouse support themselves and their children, and preparing for that life...the number sah period will drop drastically. As all those families with two parents who didn't expect to have to support themselves, and never prepared to do that well, scramble to support children on two low income jobs neither of them ever expected to have to hold. Trust me...the first move needs to be made by women who prepare themselves...the female irresponsible idealist "let the men define their own choices" idea will result in economic disaster. Its not a chicken and egg problem. Having twice as many people grow up inadequately prepared and not expecting to support a family in a manner which they expect to be living, is not going to improve anyones situation.

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