The poster asked *why* do couples label the their money and another poster asked *why* it's always the wife's money that is "play money". So I answered why I feel that they (husband or wives) take great pains to label and let other folks know exactly how that money is divied - the important money vs. the not important money.
Mondomom made a great observation:
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I think the harm is in the set up that the man/husband has the "important/power" role in the household as opposed to the superfulous role of the woman/wife and "her" non-important money.
First, you can't read. Nowhere did I say I sat on my laurels for 11 years. The 11 years includes the time to get another degree and two job changes internally.
Second, WRT type casting, you don't know much about the professional world do you?
Not in the slighest. I just answered the charge that I was moving into a more flexible career. I'm not.
This is quit entertaining. Someone lays a charge and when I counter it, I'm calling myself a martyr? Nope. Simply explaining that the world of teaching isn't the easy job some here think it is. That doesn't scare me though. I've worked hard before.
Where has anyone, anywhere in this thread said she should stick it out and not change things? The only criticism anyone has made is that she took too long to get off the mommy track. Those pointing out that she was moving from a male profession to a female profession did so because she was claiming she was striking a blow for women everywhere. If she had wanted to strike a blow for women everywhere, she would have left her company years ago, instead of settling for a dead-end job.
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Can you link to the posts that said this? To any post - go on, any post - that says she should not have tried to improve her circumstances? Not ONE poster has said she should stop working, that she should mommy track, that she shouldn't retrain. Not ONE. Again, all anyone has done is pointed out that she is not doing anything particulary special. Now, if she had fought for her rights within her company and derailed the mommy train THAT would have been something. If she had left her employer for a position at another company that didn't mommy track her, THAT would have been something. If she had started her own business, THAT would have been something.
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That was funny. The beef with GK is that she takes no personal responsibility for being stuck on the mommy track for twelve years. It wasn't her fault. Blech.
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Why? We aren't unhappy with our lives. Many of us are doing quite well professionally. I just moved into a position that was created especially for me, at my request, which moved me quite a ways up the ladder in terms of reporting
I'm sure that's news to the many SAHD I know. If they didn't have the choice, then how did they make it?
Your post is so full of bad logic it's almost impossible to rebut. One doesn't have to "prepare" to SAH in order to SAH, or to believe that SAH is a valid choice for either gender.
Because I'll be doing something I want to do and something that matters a lot more than what I'm doing now. It also comes with greater job security, well, once you get tenured anyway. That is another bridge to cross but the plan is to have more than enough in the bank to cover any unemployment periods before I move. That's one reason I'm taking as long as I am. Another is the loss of the flexibility to take off and do things like volunteer in dd's classroom and drive on field trips. Dd#1 will be 6th grade and dd#2 in 3rd when I do my student teaching. My volunteer days at their school will be over once I make this change. Also, I think the paperwork I'll be bringing home will be easier to handle with older kids.
I'm not looking for martyrdom as some have implied. Just answering the charge that I'm moving into a more flexible and easier job. It's not. I'm tired of not being challenged where I am. I'm ready to move on to something else so I'm moving. Just like 3 of my male coworkers who happen to be all about my age. We're just all going different directions.
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Mondomom made a great observation:
<<>>>
I think the harm is in the set up that the man/husband has the "important/power" role in the household as opposed to the superfulous role of the woman/wife and "her" non-important money.
Account 1 is set up to debit out mtg & bills & I use a debit card off that account to buy groceries & supplies for the household.
Account 2 is set up for us to spend on anything.
We do spend for other items out of account 1 also.
It just is easier for us to know how much play money we have to spend on whatever.
This is convenience for us.
Paige
Oh wow you remembered! LOL. Heck, how could anyone NOT remember *my* whining! LOL.
I''m WAY better. At week 20, *everything* lightened up.
Mondo
Virgo
Second, WRT type casting, you don't know much about the professional world do you?
This is quit entertaining. Someone lays a charge and when I counter it, I'm calling myself a martyr? Nope. Simply explaining that the world of teaching isn't the easy job some here think it is. That doesn't scare me though. I've worked hard before.
Where do you come up with this stuff?
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Where has anyone, anywhere in this thread said she should stick it out and not change things? The only criticism anyone has made is that she took too long to get off the mommy track. Those pointing out that she was moving from a male profession to a female profession did so because she was claiming she was striking a blow for women everywhere. If she had wanted to strike a blow for women everywhere, she would have left her company years ago, instead of settling for a dead-end job.
<>
Can you link to the posts that said this? To any post - go on, any post - that says she should not have tried to improve her circumstances? Not ONE poster has said she should stop working, that she should mommy track, that she shouldn't retrain. Not ONE. Again, all anyone has done is pointed out that she is not doing anything particulary special. Now, if she had fought for her rights within her company and derailed the mommy train THAT would have been something. If she had left her employer for a position at another company that didn't mommy track her, THAT would have been something. If she had started her own business, THAT would have been something.
<>
That was funny. The beef with GK is that she takes no personal responsibility for being stuck on the mommy track for twelve years. It wasn't her fault. Blech.
<>
Why? We aren't unhappy with our lives. Many of us are doing quite well professionally. I just moved into a position that was created especially for me, at my request, which moved me quite a ways up the ladder in terms of reporting
<>
I'm sure that's news to the many SAHD I know. If they didn't have the choice, then how did they make it?
Your post is so full of bad logic it's almost impossible to rebut. One doesn't have to "prepare" to SAH in order to SAH, or to believe that SAH is a valid choice for either gender.
I'm not looking for martyrdom as some have implied. Just answering the charge that I'm moving into a more flexible and easier job. It's not. I'm tired of not being challenged where I am. I'm ready to move on to something else so I'm moving. Just like 3 of my male coworkers who happen to be all about my age. We're just all going different directions.
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