SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:52am
My husband? When did I get one of those?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:53am
I don't think the attitude is all that wonderful either, in an enlightened and somewhat ideal society, but I do think it serves a purpose. If men in general didn't feel a pride in providing for their families in that "old fashioned" way, we'd have a lot more strife than we do. Isn't the lack of holding that attitude one of the problems for people living generation after generation in impoverished neighborhoods, in broken families? If the attitude of having pride in supporting one's family were more predominant there, a stronger feeling of fatherhood and responsibility, wouldn't that help diminish some of the desperate problems of urban poverty?

I wouldn't totally dimiss the value of the attitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:55am
The bitterness is sad.

The attitude that these women with these views have that other women like us should conform to their way of thinking is amazing while repulsive.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:56am

Hmmm...interesting article.

Click here for Free Video Demo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:56am
Its an adult responsibility thing. As long as your husband is enjoying some of that play money you earn, nothing is wrong with it. You are just both contributing to the expenses and keeping some of your own income back for fun. That is just a numbers game. I don't know where women get so confused about this...I guess it might be true that on average females aren't too good at math. Either that, or there are a good number of females out there who desperately need to feel like their *man* is powerful and fully capable of supporting them - need to feel taken *care of* - that would explain the perspective too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:57am
Sheesh, you could at least remember your own wedding...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:58am
Bwah!!! What a freaking (and pandering) laugh riot. Who is the ONLY one in this thread who has whined incessantly about how she got mommy-tracked against her will and stuck into a dead-end job with no possibility of advancement?

Doing something about it? How old is her second child now? Puh-leeze; she's like the poster child for inertia.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:01am
It has nothing to do with a numbers game. In our case, we have 2 joint accounts that the checks go in separetely.

One account is for bills, mtg. The other is for play. You won't find an entry to pay the electric bill in the second account's register.

Our set up has nothing to do with feeling like I need to be taken care of. It is just simplicity for our bookkeeping system. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

My dh can & does spend any amount of money he wants from the account my checks go in. He doesn't tell me when or if he is going to use money from that account. That is the way it works in our marriage. I do the same with the account his check goes in.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:05am
I can't see why one would prefer either martyrdom or frivolity over the other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:12am
Now our goal is supposed to be to get pats on the head of recognition from men for behaving as much like men as possible? Yuck. How ironic. If we really were to be more like men, that would include not spending any time at all trying to be more like the other sex in order to be recognized as more like the other sex.

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