SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:19am
LOTS of female engineers and more female teachers. NO female engineers who worked through child rearing, then retrained while continuing to work in engineering, for a second career, after spending decades in engineering. The fact is...the childbearing-women-quit-to-sah stereotype and the women-can't-hack-it-in-male-dominated-fields stereotype are dispellable this side of death. They are both stereoptypes with age and time criteria. You CAN prove yourself to be outside them, this side of death. Men want it this way or they themselves are screwed. What women are determined to ignore is this...they are not being asked to do MORE than men if they wish to avoid being viewed as bailing in any way...they are merely expected to do the same as men are expected to do in order to avoid the bailing label. Men don't bail to stay home with babies after a few years in a career. And they don't bail after a couple years in to change careers in great numbers. But men who DO change careers after a few years in will be happy to tell YOU they hated it and couldn't hack it. However, I wouldn't suggest you try telling our 15yr trader that he couldn't *hack* the tradefloor and thats why he went into teaching. You might get an ear full you weren't counting on, including a very colourful definition of *hack* to help you along with your comprehension problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:29am
Persuing a career in engineering while raising children is typically done by men. Retraining to be a teacher while continuing as an engineer, is rare and not typically done, but its doen more often by men than women. Get it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:40am
What is "unfortunate" about my situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:41am
Teaching isn't less demanding, with less responsibilty, than engineering. Its not even more flexible. Its just different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:43am
And why can't their egos stand having their wives support them financially? Because they are socialized to believe that their contribution must be financial - they have to be the providers, which was my original point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:50am
Hardly. I could list endless examples and statistics about women financially supporting themselves and their families, but what would be the point? Your perception of this is so clouded by your distate for the female gender that you are living in some little fantasy world where all men are noble and all women except you and grimal are lazy, bloodsucking leeches. Yeah, that's reality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:51am

Is this still about Grimal?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:02am

I really think it boils down to what you see IRL.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:36am
Perception is reality to a large extent. Even so, it strains my imagination to think that the things that op123 says are what she has experienced IRL.

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I agree. I also think that if feminism is supposed to be about choice, then feminists shouldn't complain when some women exercise that choice to sah or reduce their workload, etc. And if more people would see the value in those choices, maybe more men would feel comfortable making them too. That would benefit everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:21pm
"there IS a loss of power to the working Moms when so many women choose to SAH, but there is still more gain to the gender in whole. "

and what about the "loss" that SAHM's feel because WOHM's have made it abundantly clear that SAH is not a "good choice"? Not everything has to be about this so called power that people think comes with WOH. Not all women feel the need to have their identity so wrapped up in what career/job they choose or not choose.

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