SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:27pm

I can't speak for all, but no one really thinks SAH is a "bad choice" in of itself - or very rarely anway; only that the choice is dependent on someone else to make it happen.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:41pm

"and what about the "loss" that SAHM's feel because WOHM's have made it abundantly clear that SAH is not a "good choice"? "


Let's say for a minute I didn't think SAH is valid choice (which I do, but I'm playing along with your post..)


How does my opinion of your status in any way make your day harder or easier?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:50pm
That's the right word.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:55pm
How are those migraines?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:56pm
Extremely well said. Excellent post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:17pm

I'm still chewing on this.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:32pm

I don't know what bothers me about your statement, but something does.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:41pm
My grandma didn't like women either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:45pm
Haven't had another, thank goodness!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:55pm
The problem I have with the "play money" concept is that I think it might be natural for some people to devalue the work of the person making the play money. For example, Say Mr X makes 100K, and his wife, Mrs. X, makes 30K. They have earmarked the 30K as play money. So when there is an emergency or when conflicts arise between Mr and Mrs X's careers, Mr X may be more likely to say, hey my job is the "real" job, the one that pays the bills, so it comes first, although Mrs X may have a very important job with a host of responsibilities. My fear is that the play money concept would lead to an attitude that the spouse's job is really just a play job, and not all that important in the scheme of things. I have seen this happen IRL. My dad always treated my mom's job as trivial, because they used the money for extra stuff. THat way, he coudl still wield power over her my making statements like "my salary pays the bills".

In theory, the idea of living on one income, below one's means is a good one. I just hate the compartmentalizing of money and effort in a relationship.

Susan

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