SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:07pm
How is that BS? You just admitted half of it (men's egos can't stand having the wife support them - just like you think women's egos shouldn't be able to stand having their husbands support them). And the other half (that women don't usually make more than men) doesn't at all indicate that the women weren't fully prepared to support themselves, their kids AND their DHs. I know there are some SAHMs who can't make much money, but I don't know any SAHMs who couldn't have supported their kids and DH in quite a satisfactory manner at the time the family made the decision for her to SAH. That high earning women tend to be around and marry high earning men doesn't indicate a failure of anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:15pm
Exactly. You have no point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:16pm
You used the word.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:21pm
In so many ways & too many to go & list. They are not associated with earning money or earning power. I think that would be wrong. I make a da** good salary & do well for myself in my career & earnings. That is all great, well, & fine. It just doesn't define me as a person or even as a woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:24pm
No bragging. Just the dynamics of how we sat down & decided to run our household & finances.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:30pm
We keep all of my income for fun, not just some of it. My money goes into savings & no, it isn't withdrawn to pay utilities or rent. From your post, you misunderstood. Of course my husband has the freedom to spend any of the money I earn. He does it. But I don't think it is a responsibility of both in a marriage to earn income if it isn't needed & both parties come to that agreement that either one spouse will sah or one spouses' income will go for discretional (play, blow) expenses. I'm not one of those females that need to feel like my man is taking care of me & my hubby isn't one of those men who feels empowerment from being the sole breadwinner, taking care of his woman. Far from it for both of us. That is just your warped opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:32pm
From the desperate posters, like yourself, who are trying their absolute best to define the move as less than adirmable. Most intelligent people would be impressed, actually. You need a real serious degree of insecurity, to not be impressed. I know, I know. The board is really busy being impressed with women who manage to BUY THEIR OWN HOMES. Sad really. And telling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:32pm
If I took my job so flippantly, I wouldn't have a job. I have always worked, now just part time, but I have always been serious about my work & done the best I can do for my employer and for me because I have to have everything done just right or I'll work until it is done right. While I may not use my salary to pay the rent, I don't take my job for granted & I am not flippant about my work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:33pm


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IMO, it isn't the SAHM that has that "impact" on your lifestyle and ability to provide, it is the ignorance of the employers. Having all women stay in the workforce isn't going to change that ignorance. The only thing is educating the employers that women can and do succeed in the workforce, regardless of if other workmates decide to SAH.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:34pm
My money is important. We are thrilled to have it to go towards buying us a home & furnishing it when we move. It will be nice to no longer live in apartments.

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