SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 2:58pm
Ahh that's it... dh and I really like it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 2:59pm

>>ot a "job" in the traditional sense but I believe its very hard work<<
what do you mean by *traditional* sense anyway....traditional job as in paycheck? i guess i look at that in the same sense then as a cwohm being in a nontraditional role. i mean, if a family unit can afford to have one parent sah, then the *traditional* family arrangement is to have a wohp/sahp, 2.75 kids, a dog and live happily ever after.

>>like our live in nanny, is a job.<<
mmhmm....because she's paid for what she does?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:02pm
I haven't seen that one yet. Does he do a stint in various dirty jobs? I like watching all the things I don't have to do. But then I've had people practically lose their lunch when they take a good look at what happens in our parasitology lab. (Mostly highschool girls on field trips. There doesn't seem to be anything more upsettable than the stomache of a highschool girl. I have heard probably every recent synonym for "disgusting" in the teen lexicon.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:07pm
Several new ones each week... it's really neat. Tire recycling, septic tank cleaner, biodiesel manufacturing, crawfish catching... it's all different stuff.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:12pm

Yep, he spends a day (or so) with people doing their dirty jobs.

http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/dirtyjobs/about/about.html

Some of them are disgusting (cleaning out sewers, remediation after mold damage, cleaning out grease traps at automotive facilities) and others are just dirty (making the "dirt" that roughs up baseballs, mud bath technician).

and he's a cutie-patootie too!

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:14pm

<<>>

Sure I do. If she wants to be home with her children and not work that would affect her in every aspect of her life. She would be miserable. Think that wouldn't affect her parenting?

<<>>

Sure...Most mothers do and should. As your children grow up they change and you should change with them. You can't be the same mother to your 2 yr old that you are to your 26 yr old.

<<>>

Think your son is going to let you tell him what to do or where to go or when to be home when he is 22 yrs old. I know what I am talking about. Lots of things I don't discuss on this board. Trust me...when your kids get older...you will be different.

Exactly your job brings joy to your life. Imagine if someone took that away and made you SAH. Maybe not for you but for some WOHM that would be terrible and the loss of money would be terrible. Possibly even cause serious problems. Think that wouldn't affect ones ability to be a good parent? Stress and unhappiness can do lots of things to a person.




Edited 12/16/2005 3:22 pm ET by ahlmommy
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:21pm
We are all ok with it. It works great. When you have a DH that works the odd hours and only going to get worse you understand it isn't the quantity of time it is the quality. We have a groove here...it works well. Occasionally we switch it up, and he does showers and I do dishes, yet my 3 yr isn't very fond of it. It is hilarious watching him comb the tangles out of her hair. She is yelling...WHERE'S MOMMY? LOL!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:25pm
My dd hates baths no matter who gives it to her, so I'm *happy* to let dh do it! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:28pm
Ah, the portal of puberty.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 4:27pm

***You aren't understanding me. You haven't defined what a sah /wah/sahm/wohm is thus how can you view it let alone find out what they think of each other? You haven't defined the variables in the poll.***

You sure are making alot out of this. The poll was simply a point of curiosity after a comment in another thread. Not some philosophical "what is a..." debate. So far the answers have given me what I was looking for and satisfied the curiosity. Mission accomplished.

***I would very much like you to link me to where I said that, let along going on about it.***

You said it's irrelevant that one misses a play due to work because a play isn't a major part of parenting. I wasn't saying it *was* a major part- I was using it as an example of how ones work status can indeed affect ones parenting. But if you're defining 'ones parenting' as only the major values/philosophies etc. and not the daily little things, then OK- we can go with that.

***How? Because, it's also an issue of having other things to do, having other children, any number of things, how is missing a play relevant to a working parent and thus affect one's parenting? How does missing things an issue let alone affect their parenting and only working parents?***

Where did I say it only affected working parents? I used it as one example of how ones working status *could* affect ones parenting. If one is at work and misses and event- it's an example of work status affecting parenting. It doesn't matter if SAHP's can miss things for various reasons too- perhaps they're missing things because they're SAHP's and something about that is affecting their ability to be there. It was *one example*.

***I believe that work status is irrelevant in parenting. Again, how does missing or attending a play relevant in parenting?***

It's an example of how ones work can affect ones parenting. If one is at work and misses an event- that affects their ability to be there- and being there is an aspect of parenting. Is it necessary? No- we agree that all parents sometimes miss things. But if missing it is because of work, then that's an example of work affecting parenting.

***As I have said, I disagree.***

As is your right.

***I also think is a very fine line to balance parenting on.***

And I've agreed. I just don't see work status as something that parenting is *balanced* on. I see it as something that can *affect* parenting- but not something that parenting is balanced on.

***Yes, I have heard the phrase. How is it clearly reflected in their parenting?***

Because if someone is miserable as a SAHP, or WOHP, or *whatever* one isn't likely to be as good a parent as they'd like.

***Many sahms here have said they have felt isolated and unhappy from time to time....they all consider themselves very good parents.***

Don't you see a difference between being isolated and unhappy from time to time and being miserable in an ongoing situation? I know I do.

***So just answer it. What's the problem?***

I do, and there isn't one. I answer that SAH is my job. *shrugs* And I have yet to have anyone challenge that IRL.

***It's the point that it's important to see how others view you?***

No- it's the point that it was raised an another thread and I was curious as to whether there was a difference in perspective between WOHM's and SAHM's as to whether being a SAHP was a job.

Wytchy

Pages