SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 5:39pm

Just out of curiousity, what do you consider family time? Last I heard, scouting was a family activity, or at least that's what they have been pounding into us for years. As far as lessons and practices, most lessons/practices last less than one hour once a week. Plenty of time left for other things. I consider family time to be our family participating in the activities my children are involved in. Are you saying it's not?

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:11pm

not s2lb but can i take a stab at what you're asking?

family time is time spent with family. it's seeing a movie together, having dinner together etc.....growing up, we used to have once a month council meetings that specifically talked about family needs and concerns, issues with siblings if at all. not without it's share of embarrassing giggles thou too. lol....i do not consider scouting family time unless of course it's exclusive to one immediate family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:19pm
I have to agree; some folks overdo it a tad bit ;-) I waited over 7 years to adopt dd1. Could have driven myself and everybody else crazy over Excruciatingly Correct Parenting. Decided it's not worth the stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:32pm

That is absolutely NOT the traditional arrangement. Look back at history and you'll see what I mean. Women worked their butts off at home-they had none of the modern conveniences and usually several children (free labor). You think they werent out there helping till the fields and pick the crops? Your *traditional* arrangement didnt come to be until the 50's and really only last about 15 years before women bucked that little trend and said no more.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:37pm

Um, caring for YOUR children and YOUR home IS personal time. They're YOURS. Cleaning my house was not my job before I had kids and it's not my job now. It's just taking care of my personal life.

I clean my house, just like a stay at home mom would, does that make it my job? No. It's my house and my decision whether or not to clean it and how clean to make it. I could decide to live in a pig sty if I wanted to because it's my choice.

Taking care of my children is my responsibility not my job. It is what I signed up for when I decided to have them. I chose to have them in my personal life so it's my responsibility make sure they're taken care of. They are not my job. They are part of my personal life.

Everything in my personal life is there by my choice. I don't understand calling that your job. What you're saying is taking care of your personal life is your job. How can it be when it's YOUR personal life you're taking care of?

I have had two small children and a full time job. Trust me, my home life would have been easier if I had eliminated the job part. I don't care how many kids you have or what age they are, life does not get harder if you give yourself more time to take care of your personal life. It gets easier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:39pm

Really? You need to visit the boy scout literature. My son has been involved in boy scouts for several years and the leadership has always stressed that it is a family activity. A parent must attend the den meetings with their child, must actively participate in the activities, camping trips are for families, a child could not attend without family members. At scout day camp, the parents act as the counselors. I don't see how you could consider scouting anything but a family activity.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:43pm

"No- it's not. It's 40 additional hours most of which are spent caring for the children- at least at my kids ages."

Bingo, the amount of time spent caring for your children has to do with the age of your children not your work status.

"Oh- so you're taking care of your kids while you're at work?"

No I am not talking about work hours I am talking about outside of work hours, a WOHM takes care their kid at the same time they do laundry, cleaning cooking etc just like a SAHM. A SAHM does not have an extra 40 hours to putter around the house but they do mean have an extra 40 hours per week to axccomplish those tasks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:43pm

Of course it's all about you ;o)

Making life saner is a pretty good reason to stay home. If you have the option of having your life the way you want it, go for it and count yourself lucky. As they say, you only go round once. Might as well enjoy it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:50pm

This is one area wher, shudder, I actually agree with Laura Schlessenger. To the person who it bothers goes the effort to change it. It's far easier to pick up the socks yourself than to change the person who dropped them there. Picking up the socks is the lesser of the battles and life will be much calmer taking that route.

I don't think we should require our spouses live up to our standards any more than they should require us to live up to theirs. Unfortunately, I've known more than one man who considered having a stay at home wife the same as having a maid. Where I work, there are some who consider that the pay off of their wives being "kept women". It blows me away the way some of these men talk about their stay at home wives. I think that alone would be reason enough to keep me in the work force.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 7:01pm

"Taking care of my own children isn't comparable to what a day care provider does."

I agree, if I decided that I didn't want to do anything but the bare minimum to meet my kids needs on some days then I could (and often did). When it is your own household, you get to make the rules.

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