SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:19pm

***I guess I am more detailed oriented than you, as I wouldn't rely on answers from faulty data but if you think your mission is accomplished. Congrats.***

Somehow I seriously doubt that'd be what you were saying if the poll results were clearly supporting *your* POV LOL! (As it is- seems we're looking at a fairly even split thusfar)...

***How does it affect parenting, though? What does missing something have to do with parenting?***

It's not about missing something- it's about one of the little things that can be affected by work status. It was thrown in there as an example- not a main point.

***You specifically said that you could not be the kind of mother you want to be if you worked. How is that not balanced on your non working status?***

Perhaps I should have said that I couldn't provide my children with what I want to provide them with. Would that be better? Still.... Let's look at it this way for a moment... If a parent wants to be an involved parent but their work schedule has them working excessively long hours (while we both can agree that's not 'the norm'- let's just use the example to illustrate, shall we?) due to their work schedule they can't be as involved as they'd like, they're physically, mentally and emotionally drained at the end of the day etc. and don't feel as if they're able to give their children all the time they want to give them and that they feel the children deserve... Do you think that parent is being the kind of parent they want to be? Do you think that has anything to do with their work status?

***Yes, and that is exactly why the kind of parent someone wants to be shouldn't be balanced on the very thin line of working or non-working status.***

So how is that any different from being in a *career* that one isn't happy in versus one that one *is* happy in?

***Then why are you so interested in what, who and how others view the sahm position?***

It came about in another thread here about sahm/job and while I said that I viewed it as my job, another poster said they didn't- I wondered how many others viewed it *as* a job versus *not* a job- a simple point of curiosity- thus the poll... I think it may have been the career thread- but I could be wrong...

***Again, if that was your intent I don't think it's accurate as the wohm/sahm perspective was not defined...thus the results are very blurry.***

I wasn't looking for a doctorate thesis research project or anything- just a casual question sparked by a conversation in another thread. It was far less of a deal than you're making it out to be. It's like if I asked 'do you like wine' and we got into a debate on red versus white and whether we were taking into consideration that some people *can't* drink wine, and breaking that into religious, philosophical and medical reasons, and how others drink too much etc. etc. etc. All I really wanted to know was if anyone liked it. A simple yes/no- now can you please pass me the bread basket. It's not rocket science. It's not even anything that *means* anything- who *cares* whether it's a 'job' or not? If you don't think it is- fine. If I do- fine. It's not going to solve world hunger or bring about world peace, so why keep going with it? ROFL!

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:35pm

That's funny... I haven't seen you comment on it when any of the WOHM's have said it...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:37pm

Oh sure it is- but I thought you said you were carting them here and there- I don't remember your saying that you were participating too...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:49pm

***Um, caring for YOUR children and YOUR home IS personal time. They're YOURS. Cleaning my house was not my job before I had kids and it's not my job now. It's just taking care of my personal life.***

I view 'personal time' as "me time/private time". Not time spent doing domestic chores, taking care of the children, etc. It's my time to read a book, take a bath, have coffee with a girlfriend...

***Taking care of my children is my responsibility not my job. It is what I signed up for when I decided to have them. I chose to have them in my personal life so it's my responsibility make sure they're taken care of. They are not my job. They are part of my personal life.***

And you didn't choose to have your career? Wouldn't that be part of *your* personal life? It's your responsibility, isn't it?...

Yes- those things are my responsibility- but it's my *job* to see that those things are taken care of. It's not DH's *job* to make dinner- it's mine. It's not DH's *job* to clean the house- it's mine. It's not DH's *job* to take care of the kids most of the time- it's mine. How is that *not* my job? If it's my responsibility- I consider it my *job* to do it and to do it well. Semantics?

***I have had two small children and a full time job. Trust me, my home life would have been easier if I had eliminated the job part. I don't care how many kids you have or what age they are, life does not get harder if you give yourself more time to take care of your personal life. It gets easier.***

I'm not saying it would get harder- I'm saying that at least in my case with my children's ages, the work would be a trade off. An even draw as it were. Now- when they get older and are a bit more self-sufficient? I'd agree with you- SAH would be much easier than WOH! No question!

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:55pm

That would drive me *nuts*! Don't you have issues with bugs or mold or nasty smells or something doing that, or do people actually get on board and manage to get it down to where it belongs?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:57pm

...And that's the only reason you WOH? Money?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 11:04pm

LOL! Yeah- it is- but when that baby is a 1yr old who is off the charts with height and on the upper edge with weight and doesn't like to just sit still and be held but *must* be up, it's not the easiest task. ;) (Think doing housework while trying to hold a small but spastic octopus LOL!) Last time I tried it (doing housework carrying her) I ended up going to the chiropractor for quite a few visits.

Any suggestions on better slings? I've got a WAHM made ring sling, a Maya wrap, a New Native, a Playtex hip sling and a Baby Bjorn... Maybe I just need a backpack- haven't really looked at those too much yet...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 11:09pm

And your point is? I was unaware that one was required to retake them for the purpose of attaining the degree. Maybe I should speak again with my counselor? The purpose of the courses is for the degree- of course I'll be expected to attend ongoing refresher courses as part of any career position.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 11:11pm

Hmmm- I was unaware that making a statement now constituted as "whining".... My mistake. Frankly I don't mind. I'd rather just pick them up and not have to look at them than leave them until he gets around to realizing that they need to be washed. *shrugs*

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 11:15pm

... That assumes that ones child's cues- in regard to AP parenting- allow one to seperate themselves from their child for the duration of a work day. While some children would be fine with that (including my DS), I know my DD would not.

Wytchy

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