SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:14pm

Ahhh- gotcha. That's about the same size as our place- and we don't have an open plan... Ah well- maybe I'll see if I can find somewhere that has them in stock that I can actually try out... (Wonder if Toys R Us would have something like that...?)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:17pm
I got mine at a sporting goods store, although I'm sure toys r us has something similar.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:24pm

<<>>

Did you miss where I wrote in the next sentence that cleaning is done during NAP time? My house is very clean. I have a routine of what I do each day. Other than having too many toys in our house...the house is clean.

<<>>

Yes I used to go after work every Wednesday. That was the day I got off at 5. Not that big of a deal to me. It was much better than going at 10am on Tuesday morning with a 3 yr old.

<<>>

I would take running errands or grocery shopping alone at any hour after working all day than going during the day with my children. In fact that is just what I do now. I go to the grocery store either on Monday's or Tueday evenings. Usually around 8pm. My DH is home to be with the kids and I go.

<<>>

Then you don't do errands on those days...either don't do them at all or do them during lunch. When my children have baseball, gymnastics whatever...we either grab dinner, or I put food in the crock pot that morning.

<<>>

What you are forgetting is that many SAH have school aged children. My son goes to school...I have to drive him to school and pick him up daily. My oldest rides the bus in the morning and I pick her up in the afternoons due to afterschool activities. So if you add together my commuting on T W and Th when my DD#1 is in school, DS is at school, and DD#2 is in preschool I spend about 2 hours in the car each day. On M and Fri...I spend about an hour. I also volunteer at my son's school, and attend school functions. So the 40+ hours you think I have aren't there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:07pm

In her defense, I didn't know how to spell it either. I had to ask Angela because I was too lazy to look it up.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:09pm

Happiness depending on working and on not working is two different things. For one, in order to not work, you have to find someone else to support you. It's the difference between being self sufficient and dependent.

For me, the big difference is simply the number of men who change their minds. I have one friend whose happines really does depend on her not working but her husband is tired of her staying home. Her solution? She homeschools not because she thinks it's best for her kids but because it gives her an excuse not to work. Fortunately, her kids are bright and do well pretty much teaching themselves.

If your happiness depends on being able to not work, you're likely to be in trouble at some point because your spouse is likely to expect you to work at some point. Most men won't put up with their wives never working. Many will for a few years while the children are little but then they seem to start pushing their wives back to work.

If your happiness is tied to being able to not work, I'd suggest you make sure you're independently wealthy before you have kids. Sooner or later, a spouse is likely to expect you to work and then what will you do? Be miserable? End up divorced? I've seen it come to that too.

I have a brother in law who divorced his wife for one reason only. She refused to work in spite of the kids being school aged. He still laments his divorce and says that if only she would have gotten a job and helped support their family. He should have known though. She was a single welfare mom when he met her. She never had any intention of working to support herself. Unfortunately, he had visions of improving their lives with her help.

If your happines is tied to not working, you'd better find a man whose happiness is tied ot having a stay at home wife. Otherwise, the rules may change as the children get older.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:13pm
My little one has been vacuuming the stairs since she was about 2. She LOVES it. I'm not going to argue with her. I just set it up and let her go. Took her a while back then but she was happy and I had one less chore to do.


Edited 12/18/2005 9:37 pm ET by kbmamm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:14pm
What is YMMV?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:30pm

It took consistancy. I started from the day we got back from our honeymoon with dh. If he didnt' hit the laundry basket, I didn't wash it. It doesn't take long for it to sink in. Just until the first time he had only dirty clothes to wear. I'm not his mother and he isn't 2 years old. As the girls grew up, they were taught that dirty clothes were taken off and put where they belong. Yes, as teens, they did some backsliding but logical consequences are wonderful things. And by then, they did their own laundry. They had no one to blame but themselves if what they wanted to wear was dirty. Dylan runs out of clean socks, he has to get dirty ones out and wear them to school. It takes consistancy (and a lot of stubborness) on my part. Also, Dylan only has enough clothes to wear for 8 days--1-2 pairs of good clothes for special occasions and church, 2-3 pairs of old clothes for the weekends, and 5 days worth of school uniforms. His karate uniform gets washed once a month for now (probably oftener if he continues with it but by then I believe that he will be washing his own clothes) and I make sure that that gets in the laundry. Having just enough clothes helps to ensure that they do get washed.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:35pm

I had to go out to the garage to get mine down. It is a Kelty as well. The label says Ridgeway by Kelty.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 9:38pm

The one I have is unweildy for indoors but I have used it in places like Costco (warehouse store) and the mall. It's about 12-15" a side so it sticks out from your back a greater distance than an ordinary backpack does.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

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