SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:41am

Then certainly you can understand that other people might be more affected by their circumstances than you claim to be. Yet you keep questioning it as if everyone has to be as equally unaffected by them as you are. Also, different things affect people in different ways- so while work status may not affect you, as you claim, something else *might* that might *not* affect someone else. Different strokes...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:42am

Perhaps it's confusing to you because you simply can't imagine having a DH who thinks highly paid WOH work is infinitely more valuable than any domestic chore?

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:43am
She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about herself. As for that...housework is mine, dinner is mine, homework is 99% mine, and getting the kids ready for bed is mine. Cleaning up the kitchen is his, earning the income to pay the mortgage, and so is making sure the cars are taken care of. The cars aren't just his....they are mine too. Not a problem for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:44am

Nothing in the last 30 years has enabled women to SAH.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:50am
Still isn't answering the question. As for that, SAHM now have to listen to the complaining from the feminists that complain that being a SAHM is hurting their movement. Good grief. Again...the movement was about giving women more choices, nothing else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:50am

***I don't know, both you and her have said that you could not be the kind of parent you want to be if your work status changed....she has even gone to far as to say it would make her sad. So it sounds like from both of your posts that yes, your happiness and being the kind of parent you want to be is based on working status. Me...nope, not based on working status.***

Again- there is a difference between something affecting happiness and that of happiness being *based* on working status.

***Why would someone with a natural passion for the outdoors get an office job? Most people I know have been able to recognize and assess their abilities and find jobs that match them....because of course there are so many different jobs out there and not everyone must be cooped up in an office.***

EXACTLY! And why would someone with a natural passion for taking care of ones children, family, home etc. get a job that takes them away from that *if they didn't have to*?

***Its a very fine line to balance one's happiness and being a parent on.....working status and happiness.***

Yes, yes- but I've already said a dozen times now that it's not an issue of balancing happiness on those things. I've said that I couldn't be the sort of parent that I'd like to be if I had to WOH, because homeschooling and WOH just aren't that compatible, but that doesn't mean that my happiness is exclusively based on my ability to SAH.

***Yes, I am and of course I keep doing so, that's what I base the kind of parent I want to be on. You base your ability to be the kind of parent you are on your non-working status alone. Yes, that's very clear.***

Then you're not understanding anything I've been saying. If you only base the kind of parent you want to be on your core values etc. that's fine- but personally I also include the things that I want/want to do for my children. That's hardly "basing my ability to be the kind of parent I want to be on working status alone". It's *one facet*, yes- but hardly the only one.

***No, of course not and haven't said that, in fact as I have posted and questioned why working status has such a influence on you and alhm as I think working status shouldn't be an influence because it's a very fine line to balance the kind of parent one wants to be on.***

Sure- if that's the -only- thing one is basing it on. But once *again*, it isn't.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:53am
New choices, not just the same old choices.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:55am

Thanks. :) I grew up with it (my dad taught me) and then I went into the vocational training program to get a certification etc. It's fun... Not what I'd *want* to do for a career, but... I could if I had to ;) (I'm not a big math person, but I can do it when I have to LOL ;) God bless calculators ;)

Ahh- yeah- see, around here, hardly -anyone- makes 200,000+/yr. single OR combined incomes ;) We're suburban midwest sorts.

Wytchy

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:56am
I agree with you....to a point. Yet, you must remember there are militants on both sides of the fence. I really don't understand the need to feel guilty about WOH at any point and time of anyone's life. If someone can make you feel guilty about something then you have an underlying issue with it yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:57am

THANK you! I know I've said that around here elsewhere- I can't believe I didn't go that route with *that* comment! LOL! ;)

Wytchy

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