SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 11:58am

Re: the midwest, my extended family is from Wisconsin, so I can appreciate what you're talking about.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:00pm

I don't see where that makes a difference. Do you think my DH would be subserviant to me if *he* were the one doing the laundry, scrubbing the toilets, making dinner etc.? Same work- just done by a different person. Do you think that dual WOHP's who share domestic responsibilities are alternately subserviant to each other? Like, is your DH subserviant to you when he does the grocery shopping/cooking or scrubs the floor or whatever? Are you subserviant to him when you do it? I just don't get that line of thought...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:01pm

Sure they did! They were just mostly confined to "womens fields" such as teaching, nursing, etc. ;)

Wytchy

Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:01pm
You got that right. My uncle is a General in the Pentagon, and my cousin worked at the Pentagon. She got out of there...the traffic is almost unbearable. He is still (obviously) still there. The housing market is unbelieveable up there as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:02pm
It's not just the guilt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:04pm
OK, let me explain.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:07pm
But see, it's all about what makes different personalities tick.

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Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:09pm
See that has got to be a regional thought. My old neighbor moved out of her house and into a bigger one in our neighborhood. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why. She finally told me that she thought that people were looking down on her because she lived in the smaller home section of the neighborhood. I have lived her 5 years longer than her, and never experienced that at all. She is from New York and told me that it just bothered her not being in the bigger house. YET...they are so house poor it is ridiculous. We aren't in that situation at all. Not once in my life have I cared about what others thought of me. Society can look at someone however they want. I just don't care. It is my life, my family, and my choices. You don't like it..so what. I still stand that guilt is an inner thought. If someone has guilt they have issue with what they do.
Avatar for ahlmommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:11pm
So now you you aren't subservient to him because you earn money? Just because one doesn't make money doesn't make them subservient. That is silly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:17pm

***Regardless, I am not comforted by a faulty pool supporting my pov, but thanks.***

I just haven't seen you comment on any of the WOHM's around this board who have *said* that their WOH makes them a better parent.

***You still haven't told me how it affects parenting, let alone be an example of how working status affects parenting.***

Yes- I have- many times. Try reading back.

***I don't know anyone like that, nor have any experiences to base a comment on.***

That doesn't answer the question.

***What does this have to do with being the kind of parent you want to be? I don't think I am understanding your point here, can you re-phrase?***

If one is unhappy in their WOH job, IMO that will carry over into ones relationships with their children. Therefore, ones working status, or ones happiness in their job, will affect ones parenting. If one is happy in their job, they will be a more satisfied, fulfilled and happy person- thus a better parent (than if they were miserable at work etc.) Or at least such is the case with most people I know. I don't know many who are as absolutely unaffected by their work as you claim to be.

***Again, perhaps I am just more detailed orientated than you?***

Or maybe because of that you're reading far more into things than are really there... (Not saying that in a bad way) but given your detailed nature, perhaps you're thinking that there are more details here than are plainly stated. Which isn't the case, for the record ;)

***Oh, you are so very wrong on this point, lol. Well, it's not rocket science, but it wine making is very much a science, lol.***

I meant that the answer to the question/poll wasn't rocket science- I wasn't speaking at all of wine making, nor was wine used in this discussion for anything more than an illustration of your making far too big a deal about things, such as you are again doing here- with the wine LOL!

***Rarely if ever do you see a yes/no do you like this wine kind of thing. Sorry, for lol so much, this past weekend was the wine club's Christmas party and no simple yes/no among anyone there, lol.***

The *point* is- you're making a huge discussion out of a simple question that really only required a very simple answer.

But while we're on the subject of wine, since you seem so interested in talking about it- you say your DH is a wine maker? Does he have a website? I'm always looking for new wines :) I'm not a big wine buff, but I do have a small collection and enjoy unique offerings ;)

***Well, you cared enough to start a debate thread, you have cared enough to say all sorts of things in this thread and accuse me of quite a few more...so I guess YOU do?***

Nope- I really don't (care). I only cared enough to start a *poll* (not a debate thread) because the question was raised in another thread. I had a minute and figured I'd shoot off a poll.

***since you haven't answered...I keep asking.***

Haven't answered what exactly? I've answered every question you've posed. You just haven't liked some of the answers because they aren't what you'd do or what you understand.

Wytchy

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