SAH parenting- "job" or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
SAH parenting- "job" or not?
978
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:29am

SAH parenting- "job" or not?



  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a SAHM/D)
  • Yes- it's a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • No- it's not a job (I'm a WOHM/D)
  • Obligatory 'Other'


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:54pm

It's just my unusual (for this board, anyway) view of marriage, I guess.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:55pm
Here traffic means you're not the only one stopped at the red light.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:55pm

***Perhaps it's confusing to you because you simply can't imagine having a DH who thinks highly paid WOH work is infinitely more valuable than any domestic chore?***

Why should it be? (More valuable) Why should money be 'infinately more valuable'?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:56pm
We don't really split chores, I do most of them if not all of them. But it's not because it is "assigned" to me. I don't get in trouble if I don't do them. :) But it's not because I'm a slave, it's because it is our mutual agreement at this time. As I've said before... maybe I don't feel subservient because he did most of the housework when I WOHFT.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:56pm
You're asking why that is his opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 12:57pm
Actually, we had real traffic one time, when there was a big accident on I5 and they had to shut it down totally to land a lifeflight helicopter. :) Sometimes it gets a little heavy when I5 is snowed in up at Shasta, too, because here is where all the big rigs hang until they are allowed to go through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 1:01pm
Well, it definitely helps that you've switched roles, but also you obviously are not lazy nor is your DH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 1:02pm

It's not, imo, about who does more or if someone's doing more than their fair share ... its about whose responsibility it is.

For us, we are *both* responsible for the housework, cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc. Who does it depends, not on whose *job* or resonsiblity it is, but on who has the motive, means and opportunity. For cooking, I have the motive (I enjoy it) and means (I'm good at it) and the opportunity. Dh really only has the opportunity. For dishes, he has the motive (he says as long as i cook good meals, he's happy doing the dishes), the means and the opportunity. I have only the means and opportunity.

For most jobs, whoever realizes it needs done and has the time first, does it. I dont' ever seem to notice when the trash is full (or remember when its trash day), so he usually does it. He doesn't seem to notice when the kids clothes are all dirty.

Works for us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 1:06pm

***but I still maintain there was no need in the first place for the sexual revolution if all you want to do is the domestic side of life.***

Oh sure there was- because before then men's opinions were generally far different than they are today. Whereas my DH fully appreciates and cherishes what I do domestically, before the "sexual revolution" he would have just *expected* it- no appreciation- just taken it for granted with a "hey hon- bring me a beer" as I dusted around his feet on the coffee table! LOL! ;)

Also- let's not forget- just because *some* women want the domestic side of life to the exclusion of paid employment does not mean that ALL women want that. The sexual revolution made it possible for those women who *do* want paid employment to obtain it, and in fields other than were traditionally acceptable for women to be in.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 1:07pm
The other part is dh is much more "naturally" clean than I am. I have to make myself a list so that I don't miss anything, because I tend to not see things that need to be done. If it were the opposite, we'd probably have the same problem.. hehe.

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