Is SAH really because the children what

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Is SAH really because the children what
1206
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 3:33pm

it....


Okay first I want to say hello everyone I haven't had the time to keep up with this very fast moving board :)


Now

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 2:41pm

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I am not raising her kids because I am not instilling my values and beliefs into them, nor am i collaborating with her on with her on what is appropriate for those kids.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 2:54pm

Im not sure what your trying to say here...

maybe the actual poster i replied to will post sometime in the future.

posters are claiming their work statis is not a part of raising their children how can that be true if they admit that their work statis is a part of their identity.

btw ones parenting style is just a facet of raising a child. It takes much more than a paretning style to raise children...imo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:56pm
it is not a matter of trying to fool anyone, it is a matter of keeping up with current technology and keeping your foot in the door - and if you think that wont matter if at some time they decide to return to work fulltime i really dont know what to say. i would htink any employer would take someone who had been working even parttime over someone who hadnt been in the workforce for 5-10 years. taking something seriously doesnt mean that it becomes your whole life - i for one would never want my job to define who i was, be it a paid job or a sahm
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 4:26pm

I am not EGD but I did ask DH, just for fun, who he thinks raised our kids more when I was a SAHM. He said, "We both raised them, you just did more of the physical 'raising' while we both worked on the general raising."

Maybe that is what EGD is referring to? Some SAHM's feel it is necessary to do all of the physical aspects of raising their kids. I know there are more aspects to raising kids other than who changes the diapers, prepares the food, cleans up the messes, etc. In fact the other parts of raising kids are in many ways much more important than some of those physical jobs, but since a SAHM is the one doing all those physical jobs maybe that is what they mean when they say "I SAH to raise my kids"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 4:34pm

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Maybe they really don't get anything wrong on their homework. My DD is in the 5th grade this year and this is the first time she has ever gotten questions wrong on her homework. My DS's are in 3rd and 1st grades and they have yet to get a question wrong on their homework. It is possible, you know ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 4:49pm

um,maybe because homework doesn't determine whose getting it or not.

coincidentally,this was just brought up at conference last week. i had told the teacher that dd1 brought home *graded* homework with problems marked wrong that were indeed correct. the teacher assured me that homework were just tools to help keep children on task of what they're doing. when homework is turned in,they pass their papers to their neighbors and all grade them together. neighbor must have marked wrong something that was correct,no big deal.

i think homework is an important standard for kids to follow through with. i also think it's a way parents should stay in tune with their kids school work........sure the responsibility is theres to do,but if a parent isn't at least finding out what homework they have,then that parent has just expressed little interest in the education of their child. a risky proposition considering that schools get bad raps for stuff parents have a responsibility to do.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 5:02pm
I can speak to this as a former DCP - when I interviewed prospective parents for my daycare, the majority of them asked me where I stood on many issues. They wanted to know where I stood because I was going to be participating in the raising of their child. I knew that they were the ones raising their child, but they also knew that I was going to be assisting in the raising of their child. Just like a teacher in later years assists in the educational aspect of raising my kids, any DCP assists in the raising of the kids they have in their care. I took care of kids who were only children. Who else was going to teach them (in essence "raise" them) to know the proper way to interact with other kids? Sure the parents can say "You play nice. You say please and thank you. You share your toys" but I was the one making sure that child followed through. The parents were getting the "theory" of how a child needs to interact with other kids, while I was doing the physical aspect of the lesson. One couldn't be effective without the other. If I wasn't doing that aspect of helping to follow through on that aspect of the parents raising their child, I wouldn't have expected them to pay me because I would have been failing in a great aspect of my job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 5:12pm

Hey, I work with MS and HS kids and there are days I still feel like a DCP!

LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 5:12pm

There's no inherent contradiction between feeling one's work status is part of one's identity and also feeling that it has nothing to do with the way they parent.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 5:20pm

I need to state first off that I don't believe that WOHMs are not raising their kids, I am a WOHM and I know I am raising my kids...

With that said, I know that my kids' teachers are assisting me in the raising of my kids. They are "raising" certain areas of my kids that I don't have enough knowledge or expertise in to get my kids to the level that I want them to be at. I SAH when my kids were young but I wouldn't say that I was the only one "raising" my kids - they had my friends, Sunday School teachers, grandparents. They all assisted me which I think is what is being talked about on here. Some SAHMs say they SAH to raise their children because they don't want the assistance of DCPs. WOHM's are raising their children, they just have the assistance of DCPs to help them. That is why WOHMs interview and carefully select DCPs - because they want the same type of guidelines, rules, etc from the provider that they would have if they were to SAH with their kids. If a DCP was not assisting in the raising of the child, there would be no need to be quite as particular in the choosing of one. Any old person would do in the care of a child. But since the child takes something away from the experience of being in DC, it is important to have a provider who shares the same philosophy of care as the parents.

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