Is the SAHM the new status symbol?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is the SAHM the new status symbol?
1697
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 10:36pm
In the 70's and 80's women fought to get into the workforce (the whole Ms. magazine generation)...and then the tide turned in the late 1990's when more women started to stay home by choice. Now, it seems like being a SAHM is a status symbol....and superior to being a working mom.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 2:40pm
To be the best wife & mother. To live my life to the fullest. To devote the time to our school. To give and devote time to our church. To be the best I can be in all areas whether it is something as important as teaching Sunday School or something as frivilous as one of my interests I pursue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 2:42pm
The only thing that smacks of drive in your posts is "to be the best you can be."

Why do you refuse to tell us how many children you have, what you did for work (how long you did it)? It might shed some light on your views.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 2:51pm
I didn't see a post where I'd been asked about what I did before I became a sahw/m. I haven't seen a post asking about how many or how old my kids are. That would be *why* I haven't answered!

My children are 8 and 4. I have a degree in business. I returned to college so that I could teach elementary education. I worked in hotel & restaurant management. Never taught school as I became a wife before I pursued a career in that field.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 2:53pm
I'm sorry, I'm not understanding your answer to my question.

I never said one had to cook, clean and do laundry in order to contribute. I asked you for examples of "contributing" since you said one can contribute without volunteering or working.

Are you saying that "by being available by having all the time on your side, for your husband and kids" this is a contribution?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:04pm
Volunteering (as in soup kitchens, school, for American Cancer Society) or Working (as in a job outside the home) when I was speaking of both.

One can still "contribute" to their own personal immediate & extended families without doing any of the above. IMHO

Yes, dh & I feel it is a great contribution to have me available with tons of time for him and the kids. Thankfully, we are able to live as we desire.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:26pm
No, it isn't actually. Thats just a feel good sentiment.

The cheque tends to represent reward for passed effort on the part of the individual. He put in his time, and earned the money. One way or another. He traded some of his overall life-alloted time, for example, for the money. He now is giving away what he has previously used his time and effort to earn. The time he originally put in for the money, has now turned into time he put in to the charity. Or it might as well be. Whether you are rich handing over millions, or poor handing over pennies, that is what the money represents. It is difficult for people to part with what they have earned and with what represents lifestyle available to the themselves and those they love.

When a person donates time to a charity - they aren't loosing the time. Its still exits, and it still belongs to the volunteer. No charity has availed themself of this time in order to use as they see fit. Most volunteers choose to put their time in where they want, when they want, how they want, according to what is convenient to them. There is nothing particularily difficult about it. The typical volunteer is doing something they enjoy, or even something they have decided will benefit themselves or their own family. Its often even "nothing better to do time". Its not usually time, that if not put into the volunteer effort, would have resulted in some other monetary reward, or other reward. Ask any school volunteer if she'll give up the stint at her childs school in the suburb, and volunteer instead at the school down in the city, an hour away, that really needs extra help. See how far that gets you.

People who do things with their lives to put them in a position of really, really being able to help people in special and unique ways - eg doctors - and who then go on to volunteer their time in that capacity are particularily admirable. As are the people who do things with their lives to put them in a position of really really being able to help people in special and unique ways - eg financially successful people - and who then go out and donate their money to achieve just that.

Everyone else just never put in the time and effort required to aquire the kind of skill or cash that could make their donations of time or money, all that valuable.

But in the end, all the volunteers in the world won't negate the need for charitable cash donations. But all the money in the world can negate the need for charitable time donations. Because what you could then have is paid help. And the help didn't just get any less valuable because it was paid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:28pm
Telemarketers drum up business for companies, and that translates into employee paycheques.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:33pm
Hey, you figured it out! LOL.. When I got pg with ds I weighed 108, and when I gave birth I weighed (cough) 168. I'm doing much better this time, I've only gained total 8 lbs so far, but I did lose 12 in the throwing up part. The piggy is because I eat constantly. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:37pm
I have heard you say this repeatedly. It gets tiring to have to repeat yourself doesnt it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:45pm
Hey i too have worked in hotet/ rest managment for a years b/f married my first ahem legal job in the states was a waitress at a resort than i became a bartender than food and beverage manager than i married the executive chef...lol. We now own 2 resturants.




Edited 10/2/2003 10:51:08 AM ET by silverunity

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