Is the SAHM the new status symbol?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is the SAHM the new status symbol?
1697
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 10:36pm
In the 70's and 80's women fought to get into the workforce (the whole Ms. magazine generation)...and then the tide turned in the late 1990's when more women started to stay home by choice. Now, it seems like being a SAHM is a status symbol....and superior to being a working mom.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:39am
You had me til the last line, wher you state that "we value a SAHP". From your description, you sound more like a WOHP than a SAHP. The only difference between you and me is that you don't get paid for your work at school and church. Otherwise, you could easily be describing a typical WOHP situation.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:39am
But you do have to remember there are women, there are married couples, who don't think this way. They see "taking care of hearth and home" as the ultimate and that is how they live their desired lives. There is aboslutely nothing wrong with that at all IMHO. Before school days I only worked in our church. If I didn't work in school and church, I'll be honest about it, I wouldn't volunteer at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:40am
But I agree with you! You are using respect differently than I am. I accept and would never interfere with your right to live as you choose. That's the freedom aspect.

But I am free to respect anyone who doesn't make IMO a meaningful contribution to society much less than I do contributors, while at the same time allowing this stereotypical SAHM to go on with her life. I have god-given faculties to discern what is worth respect or not, and I'm going to use them. Not in any way that affects the stereotypical SAHM, but I nonetheless have the freedom to distinguish among people.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:40am
I think a woman can decide (along w/her husband) if working or not is right for her/them. I don't think all women should work if they don't have kids (or after the kids leave the nest). I see nothing wrong with a woman being a wife at home. Even living the "good life" of leisure. Nothing wrong with it at all. Thankfully we have the freedoms to do this if financially feasible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:41am
My personal problem with it is that I'd like to be the spouse for whom meals are made (and I am, part of the time!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:42am
I think where our differences are is I don't expect every man or woman to make a "meaningful contribution to society" as you put it. I believe working in one's church is enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:42am
Aw, how sweet. That's definitely not my DH's style.

Your marriage sounds great.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:44am
Actually not. She still has the baby to watch, and she's usually making a proper English dinner for them to have after preschool, so she's still earning her pay.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:50am
Whatever would you do to fill up your days then? I am totally serious about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:50am
Yes, I think this is the bottom line here and the over all problem of the sahm/woh/ stattis. Most of the time in reality if you demand respect you will never actually have it peopel may act as if they respect you so you will leave them be or they will ignore you all together or they will dispose the very ground you walk on and some even pretend to care and be a friend, dangerous imo. If you are unable to respect individuals and their lifestyles b/c it is different and goes agianst yours you will never be respected on the level you expect actually quite the contrary, you will never recieve that respect.

I find it appauling how some of the WOHM < not any one in perticular here on the board just WOHM i am familiar with who are so over the top > expect respect for their choice but will not respect a sahm for their choice...it is a double edge sword i guess b/c they will never get repsect from me if they demand it or expect it and not give it back. You have to give to recieve and my lifestly in general is no better than any one else's in general no one is unworthy of me and no one does not not deserve my respect until proven themselves to otherwise and yet, i still dont disrespect them. PLUS, finacial statis, education, what you do for a living or with your personal life has nothing to do wiht how i view the level of respect others deserves. I know some lower middle class women who are great mothers, wives, fiends, daughters people all around and i admire them unconditionally and have a huge regard for them as people much more than some very weatlhy women i know and visa versa of course. I think it all comes down to the persons integrity, self respect and admoration for life and the life of others.

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