Is the SAHM the new status symbol?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is the SAHM the new status symbol?
1697
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 10:36pm
In the 70's and 80's women fought to get into the workforce (the whole Ms. magazine generation)...and then the tide turned in the late 1990's when more women started to stay home by choice. Now, it seems like being a SAHM is a status symbol....and superior to being a working mom.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:26am
Daily? ack! no way jose! (Actually, my dh changes the sheets right now, because the belly gets in the way of doing things sometimes! You should have seen me the last time I change the sheets on ds' bunkbed.. it was a comedy)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:37am
Although you're still not answering it directly, I assume you're saying your nanny contributes more to society than I do because she WOH. What I'm puzzled about is why you think it's a contribution to society to take care of someone ELSE's children, but NOT a contribution to society to take care of your OWN children. Is your nanny's contribution to society that she allows you to WOH too and thus according to you, allows you to contribute to society in some way I haven't yet seen you define? Because if that's it, I do that too. My DH wouldn't be able to WOH to anywhere near the degree he does were I not at home, so I still don't see a distinction.

I still don't understand your notion that you contribute to anything other than your own family by WOH any more than you understand my notion that SAH can be a societal contribution in its own right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:37am
Technically, yes. The only reason I can think of that it's any different is you don't pay for elementary school. (In general..some do)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:44am
You say that just like you think that your contribution is other than to your own family. STILL haven't seen you express what societal contribution you make by the mere fact of holding a job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:50am
I raise my kids and take care of my household (with help of course) like a SAH, and work too. Why isn't that an additional contribution? My schedule, although I'm not home, allows my DH more flexibility in his evenings and travel schedule also.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:51am
I realize this...And i was simply setting a example when i posted my week. We are kinda talkin in cirlces here. My positon is that i consider my lifestyle full of luxuries and i feel my life is worthy and I deserve respect just as you feel about yourself...RIGHT~ So does any other mother or person who is doing what they feel is fufilling.

I have explained to you in detail that i feel the sterotypes you speak of are not effecting you personally, their life is actually none of your buisness and your judgments of them are irrelevant to the worthy of respect issue. These women are worthy of your respect. Otherwise imo it is a 2 way street here and as much as Iam not trying to be rude here, you are not worthy of these women and you do not deserve respect if you can not offer yours back for their choices. Perhaps that is no big deal to you. For me it is of upmost importance to be respected in my communtiy by others, no matter who they are. Poor rich or middle of the road doing everything or nothing with their lives.

So we will just agree to disagree and you may continue to disrespect women who you believe are not worthy of you b/c of theri choices... doing what they feel is fufilling even if it be nothing of importance to you...i choose to respect and hold other's worthy. I earn respect i dont demand it cuz realisticly you will never get it. you simly think you do.

Perhaps we shall just agree to disagree.

I have luxuries to attend to...see ya later~




Edited 10/2/2003 11:58:44 AM ET by silverunity

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:55am
I'm not actually disrespecting anyone personally because I don't know anyone like the stereotype we're debating. And if such a person existed, and didn't respect me because I bust my butt raising a family and working, I wouldn't give a fig. We could just agree not to respect each other.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 11:55am
The check doesn't necessarily represent past effort on behalf of the donor. Maybe they're a trust fund baby or maybe they inherited it. I do taxes for many wealthy families in my area. The kids and grandkids of the "earners" contribute money to charities . . . but they aren't earning money or working for it themselves. Just b/c someone has a lot of money to give doesn't mean they've *earned* it.

Don't you think people who give money have a "feel good sentiment" also? It's great for Bill's publicity when people read on the front page of the paper that he gave $X million to such-and-such charity. And those individuals who donate to the arts, colleges, etc. have wings, buildings, and auditoriums named after them. I don't see this as particularly selfless.

Many "time volunteers" do mundane tasks like stuffing envelopes and answering phones, so although this isn't particularly *difficult*, it likely isn't something they enjoy either. I'm sure they can think of something "better to do", but they like giving their time to a good cause. Regardless of the tasks they're actually doing.

Don't get me wrong, I think we need both: people who donate time AND people who donate money. However, those who donate time are typically less recognized then those who give money because our society places a higher value on money.

(Plus monetary donors generally get to deduct the amount of their contribution. People donating time don't get to deduct that.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 12:01pm
Well that is good to hear. To each his own~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 12:01pm
I do think you're making a contribution to your family that I am not. What I don't see is why you think that's also a contribution to SOCIETY, or why it's a contribution to SOCIETY to take care of kids - but only if they're someone else's.

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