SAHM or work

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
SAHM or work
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:01pm

For most of my adult life, I was at SAHM. I got married at 19, became a mommy, and stayed at home because it was cheaper that way. A few years ago I went through this whole "self discovery" phase of life. I wanted to be something more than wife and I went back to college. I became a working woman in November 2006. I am now realizing that I want to be home with my kids more than anything. I feel that since I have

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:42am

Coming out of lurkdom:

A couple of thoughts i have about your situation:


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:48am

I finished school, started the professional well paying job and realized a couple years into that it wasn't what I wanted. That's what you are told from a young age, go to school, get a good job. So it's expected. It's the opposite of before when every girl was told get married and stay home with your kids. So for those of us who love being SAHM, the career that is so pushed ends up being a dissapointment. I have worked part time the majority of my working life for this reason. Still don't like my job, but it's easier to handle part time and still gives me lots of time to SAH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:55am
Me too, no full time work ever. At least not in my profession now. I do have a business I'd like to start, not sure how far I would take it if it was actually successful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 10:03am

Sounds like a bad case of the grass is always greener on the other side.

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 5:41pm

"It might be what you like, but is it really fair to your husband? I would feel like I wasn't contributing much."

Well thank goodness not all stay at home moms or their husbands think the same way you do. I know I am contributing a lot to our home, or community and our relationship. My husband doesn't have to worry if a child stays home sick, or has a problem in the middle of the night, because I am there to handle it. My husband doesn't have to worry if he goes out of town for one night or 14, because he know the house and children will be well taken care of. My husband can relax at night and on the weekends, because he knows I take most of the responsibility for inside and outside the home. My children know I am committed to their respective schools, because I am on several boards and volunteer frequently. My older son has me to talk to after school about his or his friends daily lives - and I know how much he appreciates it. My children can sleep late and have fun during their time off, they don't have to continue their busy schedules in camp/day care, etc. I can go on and on, but believe me, there are many different thoughts on this subject, and I'm sorry you feel like you couldn't contribute in other ways rather than working.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 5:53pm


that's me AND I've continued to woh.....


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 7:16pm

>>I'd suggest you figure out what you really want out of life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 7:21pm

My DH does worry when their home sick, and if they have a problem in the middle of the night, he will help to handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 7:35pm
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but that's how I feel, based on my experiences. My mom always worked outside the home and our house was always clean, our meals always home-cooked, and she was very involved in school and activities. It's hard for me to understand what a person is doing all day while the kids are at school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 7:47pm

I can think of several reasons to have a sahp when the children are in "fulltime" school.