SAHM vs. WOHM what do you love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
SAHM vs. WOHM what do you love?
194
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 3:05am

So, I've stumbled onto this page from the August Expecting Club and due to my own questions thought I'd ask those here their TOTALLY open and honest opinion...


I'm 25, DH & I are anxiously anticipating our first child and we are currently trying to decide whether I should be a stay at home mom OR work outside the home.


I've had several different career opportunities but nothing "professional" I guess you could say.


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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 11:47am

I agree about the money priorities issue.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 11:54am
Wow.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 11:59am
this was the same guy who ate out at lunch EVERYDAY and went out after work 2-3 times a week and bedgrudged me

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:10pm
You know, I can't post the first thought that popped into my head upon reading your post, because it would violate TOS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:38pm

Well...


It

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:34pm

Can you explain exactly what the thumbs down is about? I made a statement that I believed that - because of my experience as a child in a divorce with a mother who had to return to work - **I** have been driven to be financially independent. As a matter of fact, I suggested in my original post that I thought that I probably over-react or 'overcompensate' in that direction. I further stated that I felt that - because of MY insecurities in that area - I actually felt my marriage was stronger because I had taken steps to counter those insecurities.

The statement was an explanation of what I was explaining as my own 'weak spots' and a 'hey, isn't it ironic' line about how fear of dealing with divorce has actually positioned me to be less likely to have a divorce. So - is it thumbs down on me that I have those? get over it - I do. Thumbs down that I voiced them? OK... Or thumbs down that I considered - in the abstract - that divorce is endemic in our society and thus made decisions about my education, career, and what I looked for in a mate (including his attitudes towards SAH/WOH) BEFORE I entered marriage.

I'm happy to debate the stances I hold, but what the hell are you debating about me finding it ironic that my own 'neuroses' have affected how my life played out???








iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:41pm

Do you really feel that the statistics on divorce are dramatically fudged? I can certainly see where plenty of people may question the validity of sociological studies that try to rank the reasons for divorce or correlate divorce to specific lifestyle decisions (WAH vs. SAH, etc.) can easily be questioned - interpretation of data can always be called in to question. But the number of divorces and rate of divorce versus rate of marriage isn't that obscure a measurement. Unless you are assuming that there's some Rush Limbaugh-inspired conspiracy where people are getting 'fake' divorces to skew the census for some reason, then those particular statistics aren't really something you need to choose to put faith in. Divorce happens, with some degree of regularity.

Of course, marriage happens WAAAAY too often too, which is probably a more 'debatable' line from me...








iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:43pm

that reminds me of a true story about my neighbors.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:46pm
FWIW, the 40-50% divorce rates includes people who have been married 2 or more times. In other words, the divorce rate for FIRST time marriages is probably inflated by those who've divorced more than once (because studies also show that second and third marriages are more likely to fail).

rhonda-1.gif picture by fouripleys

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:52pm

Yeesh!

 

Yes. We. Did.

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