SAHM but Want to Use DC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
SAHM but Want to Use DC
95
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 1:31pm

I don't know if this is "debatable" but I'd like some advice/opinions from SAHM's and WOHM.


I'm starting to think about putting my toddlers in DC once they are about 2 yrs old. I don't WOH and don't plan

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:41am
Tina -- that was her April Fool's joke

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:49am


First of all who put you in charge of who should or should not have children?


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:57am

<<(slightly OT) I've never understood the contention that not feeling comfortable with DC for a baby or toddler/young preschooler

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 11:00am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:52pm

"(slightly OT) I've never understood the contention that not feeling comfortable with DC for a baby or toddler/young preschooler is incompatible with feeling perfectly comfortable with kindergarten for a 5 or 6 year old. Surely it's normal for how you feel about them spending time away from you to change as they get older?"

Personally, I've never had an issue with people saying, on a general level, that they weren't comfortable with dc for a baby/toddler/preschool but comfortable with kindergarten for a 5 or 6 year old.

I do, however, have issues with people who are of the opinion that dc is raising a baby/toddler/preschooler (because of the hours away from mom), but have absolutely no problem sending a child off to kindergarten and still consider themselves to be raising their own child (because schools don't raise kids but daycares apparently do, even though the actually amount of time spent at dc and school is often quite similar).

Actually, I do have one other issue: many claim that the main concern is safety. The idea is that a non-verbal child is more at risk for abuse than a verbal child. I don't agree with this for a number of reasons, among the biggest of which are:

1) Generally, parents have far more control over who comes into contact with kids when they attended dc; in school, parents often have very little control, and abuse can take many forms that may not be immediately obvious to anyone around, including the child.

2) Verbal children can be fairly easily manipulated into not saying anything about ongoing abuse. I, personally, do not rely in any way on the fact that my kids are verbal, nor do I expect them to tell me when something is going on. I watch their behaviour and mood for clues, and this works just as well with a non-verbal child. Babies and very young children are much less easily manipulated into hiding feelings. Monitoring behaviour and mood closely will provide an excellent check on whether the dc situation is questionable or not.

Otherwise, I completely understand why people would feel more or less comfortable with othercare depending on age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 2:02pm

1) Generally, parents have far more control over who comes into contact with kids when they attended dc; in school, parents often have very little control, and abuse can take many forms that may not be immediately obvious to anyone around, including the child.


2) Verbal children can be fairly easily manipulated into not saying anything about ongoing abuse. I, personally, do not rely in any way on the fact that my kids are verbal, nor do I expect them to tell me when something is going on. I watch their behaviour and mood for clues, and this works just as well with a non-verbal child. Babies and very young children are much less easily manipulated into hiding feelings. Monitoring behaviour and mood closely will provide an excellent check on whether the dc situation is questionable or not.>


Never thought of that as a comeback to the safety issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 2:46pm

Very well said.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 5:00pm

Nothing I posted was anything to do with the DC 20 hours per week thing, sorry I know that's what the thread was about and I don't mean to derail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 5:06pm

>>I do, however, have issues with people who are of the opinion that dc is raising a baby/toddler/preschooler (because of the hours away from mom), but have absolutely no problem sending a child off to kindergarten and still consider themselves to be raising their own child (because schools don't raise kids but daycares apparently do, even though the actually amount of time spent at dc and school is often quite similar).<<


I don't blame you and I would have an issue with that too.


>>1) Generally, parents have far more control over who comes into contact with kids when they attended dc; in school, parents often have very little control, and abuse can take many forms that may not be immediately obvious to anyone around, including the child.<<


Oh I understand that DC is a more controlled environment than a large public school, but someone like me, with a preschooler, isn't making a choice between sending their kid to DC or to public school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 5:46pm

<>


Then you need to give me the context in which you are asking the question if it isn't the one at hand, which is why I clearly said in my answer to your question about daycare and public school was that it totally depends on why someone is uncomfortable.


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PumpkinAngel

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