SAHM but Want to Use DC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
SAHM but Want to Use DC
95
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 1:31pm

I don't know if this is "debatable" but I'd like some advice/opinions from SAHM's and WOHM.


I'm starting to think about putting my toddlers in DC once they are about 2 yrs old. I don't WOH and don't plan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 1:12am

"but someone like me, with a preschooler, isn't making a choice between sending their kid to DC or to public school."

Yes, I get that, but that isn't what I was addressing. I was addressing the opinion that it is somehow less safe to send a kid to dc than to school. The thought usually goes something like: "I won't send my child to dc because she can't speak yet so it is too dangerous, but I'm not worried about school because she'll be older and able tell me if something is wrong". I disagree with that opinion. I think people who use safety as an argument for avoiding daycare are overestimating the safety risks inherent in dc and vastly underestimating the safety risks found at schools.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 3:51pm
It may be better for you to look into preschool than daycare to have some time for yourself. A small, in-home daycare will be flexible. We use a private daycare and she does have a curriculim for 2 year olds. It is great for Jack and also gives me peace while I am at work. Look into your options and the expense involved and make the best decision. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 2:39am

Hi there,


I am a WOHM and our 22 month old daughter goes to at in-home daycare where she socializes and has a set routine that my DH and I feel have made her a very well-rested and well-adjusted child.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 5:00pm

you should really go and visit individual day cares you are considering. every place is so different.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 10:47pm

Well, while no one put her in charge of legislation (which BTW, I cannot find where she said anything about making it a law) the OP did ask for opinions. While it may not mesh with your opinion, it makes it no less of an opinion that yours. Who put you in charge of legislation saying that it was alright?

The fact that she is already overwhelmed and needing a "break" speaks volumes to whether or not she should have more children, frankly.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 12:57am

I disagree. Not everyone finds the baby/toddler stages at all interesting or easy. And not all babies/toddlers ARE that easy to deal with. Some are some real corkers. Some really, truly excellent parents don't hit their strides until the later childhood years, when the difficulties are more cerebral in nature than physical. And infinitely more difficult, but in a different way. And they rock those ages.

I think it's pretty typical of the New Uber Mommy stage of parenting to be quick to judge another mother who doesn't think babyhood is a time of Rainbow Poop and Fluffy White Bunny Vomit. I must admit a bit of surprise to read that kind of nonsense from someone with your alleged level of parenting experience, but I suppose not everyone outgrows it.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 9:22am

Then why not adopt an older child rather than saddle yourself with "Rainbow Poop and Fluffy White Bunny Vomit".

Seriously though, it seems a little off to me (personally) to be planning to have more when you are overwhelmed with what you already have. Since it isn't me doing it, I really don't have a dog in the fight whether she has more kids or not. I will say though, my "alleged parenting experience" with my own kids, as well as many of my friends' kids has given me quite a bit of insight on these parenting years. Having had 2 under 2 (3 kids in all), and seen my best friend with 3 under 3 (and 5 kids in all) I know full well it is no cake walk being a parent to toddler, infants, newborns. It is no cake walk being a parent at any stage.

I have no issue with using any sort of Mommy's morning out, or daycare or preschool. I have used them myself at times, have had friends that did, and some still do. I stand by my statement though. It seems a little off to me to be planning to have more when you are already overwhelmed. I honestly don't give a hoot whether she has 2 kids or 20. If she and her dh can take care of 'em, then more power to them.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 12:54pm

For the same reason the "We like babies more than older kids" parents don't just foster infants. Because they're looking at the bigger picture. The point of having kids ISN'T to have kids all your life. It's to raise them to be adults. Infancy is a tiny portion of a person's life and a hard time dealing with that tiny season of life is HARDLY a reason to forgo having one's own biological children.

It's no more selfish for a parent who is eager for infancy to end to have their own biological children than it is for ANY parent to have their own biological children.

IMO, to claim that those who find the baby years hard shouldn't have their own children in order to avoid infancy altogether is to miss the point of parenting entirely.



Edited because I missed the "entire point" of grammar "entirely". Doh.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty




Edited 4/21/2008 7:35 am ET by puss_bouquet

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 12:29am
"

"The fact that she is already overwhelmed and needing a "break" speaks volumes to whether or not she should have more children, frankly. "


Being overwhelmed is normal when you have 2 babies under 2 . I take care of babies from time they wake up till they go to sleep. I carry my cup of coffee all day long heating and reheating it b/c I don't have the time to sit there and drink it without being interrupted every 5 minutes. My "break" is during their nap time and by then I'm ready to sit on the couch and not move for a while! I don't exactly feel like running around doing housework and other chores when I've already been on my feet for the past 5 hours with them. Having 3 kids at once would definitely more than overwhelm me. Give me some prozak! LOL However I do want to have 3 kids and I'm trying to find the best way to deal with it. I don't need to be a SAHM 24/7. I have no problems giving someone else the responsibility to play with them a few hours a day during their toddler years.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 6:42am

Liza's infancy/early toddlerhood or the Bataan Death March -- which was easier?

um....'what time do we leave for Bataan again?'

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

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