For SAHM's.

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For SAHM's.
1137
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm

For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.

I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:16am

Not in response to your post, but I didn't know where to put it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:21am

When I became a SAHP, my children were 2ish and 4ish. I thought I would go back to "work" when the youngest was in school. Now my youngest is in 1st grade and I am going back to "work" but not to the place I thought I would 5-6 years ago.

"Fulltime" school is a myth. We have half day Mondays, teacher work days, student holidays as well as all the Federal holidays, winter break, spring break and summer break. The school time covers about half the time neccessary for a full time job. Plus, as others have said, there are plenty of volunteer opportunities in the school.

We did the math and because of the incremental tax burden and cost of before/after school care (if we could find it) my net income wouldn't be enough to change the cadence of and less stressful lifestyle we have carved. We are lucky, DH has a good income and we are naturally frugal fannies. We are financially stable and our retirement and college funds are well stocked.

After much thought and quiet contemplation, we decided that I would go back to my social justice roots. Last fall, I started volunteering at a local non-profit social justice organization and as of July, I will be officially employed. It is a part-year part-time job that fits our family. It will work around the school times and I can do much of it at home if neccessary. Plus, I will be serving a very vulnerable population and I get paid to boot.

J

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:22am

Of course other women here have the money card in their marriages.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:28am
Of course you have time to run.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:30am
I agree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:04am
Maybe we'd get more moms here to cop to the existence of the MC if we rehabilitate it a bit. I submit the MC and its use aren't the worst things that can befall a marriage; it's just another issue to be negotiated. To recognize it doesn't *have* to mean that one's partnership is any the less valid. After all, wouldn't a real partnership involve some other cards that can match that MC?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:18am

I'm not taking it personally, I'm merely asking what the negative consequences of our situation are, b/c I honestly don't see them.

I doubt it would suck if it was all you knew. My DH has always worked the kind of hours he does, so that's all I know. I'm not sure what you mean about counting on family when DH isn't around though...we lunch at my parents' often and they watch DS while I'm at the fertility doctor, but it's not like they're raising my kid for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:36am

I've known many a wife to play the sex card to get what she wanted.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:47am

Don't you miss not seeing your DH more?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:00am

Yes, you do seem to be taking my posts very personally. I've been very general in my comments and, despite all your accusations, have not specifically said anything about *your* family or *your* DH other than repeating what you shared. In fact, I've said more than once that I believe you when you say it works for you AND I've said that I think kids thrive in all sorts of circumstances.

But if you would like to continue making this all about you, go right ahead. But, IMO, you are arguing out of both sides of your mouth when in one post you compare your DH's work habits to an addiction - like porn or alcohol - and then in later posts fault people for not understaing how amazingly *involved* a parent he is. As I said earlier, I think some people think that describeing their DH's a "workaholics" is impressive even though they may not mean that literally. I am guessing that is where you are coming from, but it is silly to be upset if people actually take you at your word rather than somehow divining what you *really* meant.

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