For SAHM's.

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For SAHM's.
1137
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm

For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.

I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:40am
You've worked some of the time, and your kids are older than 4.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:45am

DH was a police officer before my children were born, so the children are used to it. After 9/11, they went for a few months of not seeing DH. But, I looked at the bright side to all of that, if you could say "bright side". They would get to see their Dad again.

Vikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:51am

LOL - but my kids were 4 once. And if you asked them now what *I* was doing when they were 4, chances are they wouldn't remember, anyway.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:54am
We really haven't had that kind of argument, honestly. We both have the same values, really, and are both reasonable people. Last year my church had a building campaign and they wanted a pledge; I thought about and prayed about a reasonable figure that was still a bit of a stretch for us, and asked DH about it, and he was fine with it. We also gave some substantial donations at my prompting after the natural disasters of late 1995 and 1996 (tsunami through Hurricane Rita) that we both were OK with. We've compromised because there are a number of organizations I support that he's not particularly supportive of -- I'm a bit more crunchy/granola in my outlook on life than he, so I have backed off telling him I want to make a huge donation to the Sierra Club, for instance. Not that Sierra Club isn't something I believe in, just that there are any number of really good causes we BOTH believe in. He's a bit more willing to take risks with our investment strategy than I am but I think that's a good thing. His hunches usually pay off in the end. I've had to learn to close my eyes and dive right in with him -- but he never would consider risking any substantial percentage of our net worth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:59am
People who argue aren't reasonable people?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:04pm

The whole discussion centers around the sah/woh dynamic being a partnership. You are the one who started talking about the divorce rate. I dont know why.

And you did heavily imply that people are less than honest on these boards, and basically kidding themselves about whether or not their marriage was a partnership.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:05pm

No, arguments can be reasonable. But not if they involve unreasonable tactics such as manipulation and subtle pressure to get one's way.

The only issue we're currently unresolved about it decorating the house. He likes mid-century modern in theory but not at the cost of replacing all the traditional stuff and antiques we've collected/inherited over the years. He also likes the Frank Lloyd Wright look in theory but in reality finds all the wood and stone "too dark." He's very conservative about color but recognizes that with two kids, two cats, two birds, and two dogs, all beige and tan isn't very practical. We end up having stupid arguments about what to buy and end up buying nothing. Which is why we haven't replaced the carpets that have needed replacing since we moved in six years ago and why we have no window treatments in our living room.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:12pm

Ok I'd rather manipulate than be at an impasse for 6 years.


My DH thinks a reasonable financial contribution to charity is about 10% of what I think is reasonable.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:13pm

So dual WOHP marriages aren't partnerships? News to me.

Divorce is definitely related to partnerships and the money card because it can reveal the nature of the partnership and the presence of the money card, but YMMV.

<>

I've made it quite clear that this board couldn't possibly constitute my frame of reference; it's hard enough to infer what goes on in others' marriages, and it's even harder online. As to whether people kid themselves and aren't candid IRL, I've found both quite common, but again, YMMV.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:16pm
This is another one of those "each to her own" kinds of things, because there is no way that I would consider a marriage where one person does what he/she wants at the expense of another person, or where one person uses psychological warfare on the other to get his/her way a mutual, equal partnership.

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