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| Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm |
For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.
I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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<< I've been very general in my comments...>> General or pointed, it's undeniable you've alleged that there can be no workaholic spouse without an enabling spouse.
Unless you have something more to add, I wasn't convinced a man with a 7 figure net worth at age 34 who can retire in 10 yrs if he so chooses is a workaholic. I agree with you there that MYGboy has a different definition of "workaholic" ~ though I demonstrated that I would say the same about you since you turned off your addiction like a light switch when kids came into the picture. That's not possible with an addiction.
The only workaholics I've "seen" here are your colleagues working 12 hour days when they could be working 8 hours like you, and without any improvement in employment status or financial remuneration. That's a workaholic. That's just plain stupid! But again, whether you're general or specific, you haven't explained how anyone can "enable" a workaholic, give her work where there is none, etc.
I know when I worked long hours both weekdays and weekends in the Big City, no one could have enabled me to do what I didn't want to do. Nor could anyone make work for me where there was not legitimate work to be done or give me the bonus I got every year as a result of working longer hours.
"General or pointed, it's undeniable you've alleged that there can be no workaholic spouse without an enabling spouse."
How common it is, really, for one spouse to be an addict of any kind without the other spouse being an enabler? Honestly? I don't know the 12-step stats on the subject, but I am all too familiar with enablers and addicts from my own and DH's families.
"Unless you have something more to add, I wasn't convinced a man with a 7 figure net worth at age 34 who can retire in 10 yrs if he so chooses is a workaholic."
It would depend on the man, I agree. but since mgb SAID her DH was a workaholic, it is not as I applied the term indescriminately or based only on the number of hours he supposedly works.
"But again, whether you're general or specific, you haven't explained how anyone can "enable" a workaholic, give her work where there is none, etc."
Actually, i've answered both of those questions in two posts. If you did now understand or disagre, feel free to discuss it. but I *have* explained.
"I know when I worked long hours both weekdays and weekends in the Big City, no one could have enabled me to do what I didn't want to do."
There is an element of choice in most addictions, too. Alcoholics like alcohol. And they cannot control their limits. No one forces them to take that first drink - they choose to. The problem arises with the inability to set and maintain healthy limits.
"Nor could anyone make work for me where there was not legitimate work to be done"
And, as I explained, in plenty of jobs there is NEVER a shortage of work. There is literally always something that can be done when you create your own work.
I'm not suggesting they can. Just saying that's one of the practicalities of living in a big house in the burbs in Boston. It takes two incomes. That's not about the money card, imo--it's about housing prices in big cities.
And while I'm not in Boston, I don't live in a low cost area either. Most people here can't do what we've done, at least not unless they've been in the market awhile, but we're not privileged. I just happened to buy a house 14 years ago in a neighborhood that we still love, and we've purposely chosen not to scale up until now. We don't have a big 4BR house in the suburbs, and I'm sure you would find our house way too small.
"He'll come out ahead, and while we're together, that's the money card in its *latent phase*. I have more to lose than he in the event of divorce, and our mutual awareness of that constitutes the card, even if the card isn't ever actually played. The only way for me to avoid that would be to make sure I earn enough not to care about it."
See you may have more MONEY to lose in the divorce, but he probably has more FAMILY to lose in the divorce.
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