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| Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm |
For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.
I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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No, no one said dual wohps arent partherships. But the specific discussion at hand was centered around whether or not a sah/woh dynamic could be a *true* partnership.
Saying that people arent candid and are kidding themselves is basically the same as saying people are *lying and delusional*. Perhaps a milder frame of reference, but thats your implication.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I see what you are saying here, and I agree there are influences in marriages that "control" individuals in a marriage without anyone needing to say anything (thinking here of people putting up with an unfaithful spouse because they don't want to give up their standard of living, which I have seen happen). If that is what you are calling the MC, then yes, it can exist in a marriage. But, I don't think that was what we were calling the MC in most of this thread. The MC was being used to describe a situation where a working spouse routinely says "I make the money, I make the decisions." That is the scenario that most of the people in this thread said they didn't see in their own marriages, and didn't see often IRL.
Second, with respect to controlling influences in marriage, as others have pointed out here money isn't the only influence and usually isn't the strongest one. Your DH has probably felt "controlled" by the existence of your marriage and children. Could he *really* ever have come home after a terrible week at work and said, "Honey, I decided today that I'm sick of working. I quit my job and I'm not going back. We're selling the house in Welsley Farms and taking a small apartment in Natick. Pass the potatoes."??? Is that you controlling him by playing the "poor wife card", or just the reality of the lives you have established together?
What's interesting to me is how you and some others see this as the money card whereas I just see it as the practicalities of different circumstances and choices.
I've seen the MC played in unhealthy marriages, but I just don't see it hovering in good marriages the way you do.
Playing the MC is more about practicality than power for a lot of people - but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
I agree with someone's point that women start up that road early - in highschool or sooner - by forming expectations of the type of earning power they will have.
Why do more women take nursing and paralegal jobs than Dr. and lawyer jobs? Why are there more women than men in teaching, and less women in the sciences and technical jobs?
As long as women dutifully march into lower earning jobs they are fairly well sure of always being on the lowend of the totem pole when it comes to financial equality.
I daresay that financial equality probably doesn't matter to a lot of people as long as they are well provided for. Those of us who've seen the short end of the stick tend to think a little differently.
Mondo
"As long as women dutifully march into lower earning jobs they are fairly well sure of always being on the lowend of the totem pole when it comes to financial equality."
What if the path that they are "dutifully" marching on is one that they see as their true calling? Should a potential nurse become a doctor just to prove a point? We'd see alot more bitter, unhappy women that way.
Vikki
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