For SAHM's.

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For SAHM's.
1137
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm

For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.

I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:43pm

DS had a male kindergarten teacher for part of the year (and I preferred him to the female teacher that he replaced). DD had a male teacher last year and this year (grades 4 and 5); the music teacher is also a man.

I certainly think it's acceptable. I would welcome more male teachers at elementary levels.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:54pm

Thanks for a thoughtful post. Caught one or two others where the poster was pretty much bent out of shape as if I were attacking personally here. Hoo boy.

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Yes, you are right. But to me it's sort of silly to deny that the MC could never come into one's marriage, either as a possibility or as a fact, when much of what passes for gender relations in marriage and divorce today is only a shade or two away from frank use of the MC.

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I haven't said otherwise, but that doesn't necessarily mean there is no possible or actual MC.

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I'm sure he has, but wouldn't that be a feature of marriage even where it's entirely free of anything remotely resembling a MC? I mean, it's in our vows, for cripe's sake!

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He's such a workaholic, he never would, but with me earning a pretty good paycheck, actually he could if he wanted to! But he's pretty much a straight arrow and has imbibed not only a strong work ethic but a "good provider" ethic, too. As a practical matter, though, yes, he could quit. Not all work, maybe, but his current job, yes.

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I'm sure the "poor wife card" thing happens, but in my case I couldn't defend that realistically, since I'm sort of spoiled and pampered as WOHM's go. No, it's just me having made sort of a devil's bargain; my fault solely. As far as he's concerned, he's golden and all's right with the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 6:24pm

Well, there *is* an implication there. You can choose your words carefully all you like, but its still pretty easy to see what you are really saying.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 6:43pm

In our house, it wasn't the "money card", it was the "who can get up and go back to sleep on a dime card". If I was awakened during the night, forget about it - I was up for the rest of the night. Dh could get up umpteen times, and fall right back asleep within minutes - I could never do that. And since I'm the bitchy one without my eight hours, and he's perfectly happy with five, he got up. Even though he WOH and I SAH.

Even now, if you asked him, he'll say he rather liked those hours spent with a newborn on his shoulder, sitting in the rocking chair, watching ESPN at 3:00 in the morning.

Whereas I would be cursing the day I stopped taking the pill.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 6:56pm

I know lot's of careers that demand more than 40 hours a week...that is if you want to stay employed.

The hours have nothing to do with a woh or sah mom. It has to do with the job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 7:05pm
Why didn't you demand it when you were a "temporary SAHM". If he was capable of getting up at night and working the next day when he had a WOHS, then he was capable of doing it when he had a SAHS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 7:58pm

Well, sure. There are all sorts of imbalances that exist in marriages, and we all come into them with our own collection of strengths, weaknesses, needs and neuroses. Lots of things could be played as a "card" if a partner were so inclined. As long as partners are behaving as reasonably mature adults and making a good effort not to play the cards they might hold, it doesn't matter so much that those cards exist.

For what it's worth, I think its great that you made the "devil's bargain" you did. My DS's speech therapist has been one of the most important people in our lives!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 8:27pm

>But it's still possible to imagine the money card being played, even in your situation, if one or the other of you were so inclined.<

But see, that would never happen. I'm too lazy to play it and way to stubborn to allow dh to play it. And he is way to into spoiling all of us to play it. Add to that the fact that we are both Christians and take that way to serious for the money card to be ever played.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 8:49pm
If you think I said anything at all about you and your marriage, then apparently it's *not* that easy to see what I'm really saying, even with all the "honesty and integrity" in the world.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:00pm
Well, thanks! My devil's bargain isn't about my career choice, it's just working 4 days and not 5 most of the time, not doing as much as I could with it so far, making my career the secondary one. It's not forever, but I guess none of us really know beforehand what compromises our kids can bring about.

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