For SAHM's.

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For SAHM's.
1137
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm

For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.

I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 6:58am
I look at the shopper role models in my life and shudder. My mom balanced the checkbook and hid packages and receipts from my dad. My FIL plays the MC (and they have lots of other influences at play too) and gives my MIL a set allowance. No thank you to either role model.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 7:07am

<>

You mean after you worked and supported him while he went to grad school? You did a very good thing then, if he later improved his employment prospects and income because of your support, he cannot hold his higher income against you unless you allow him to.

I think the early days set the tone for the whole marriage (you think it's the divorce which clears the air). If anything, your early days should've given you the MC, not your DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 7:19am

<>

I did think about that at the beginning but got over it. At the time I quit, DH appreciated I was giving up a challenging job I enjoyed which might someday lead somewhere (where ~ I don't know!) He was surprised I wanted to quit to sah. I think that and a few other things set the tone for our marriage and I haven't seen the MC played at all.

With a few exceptions in this debate, I see lots of "cards" at play in the marriages discussed, but little outright, down-and-dirty playing of the MC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 7:47am

<>

That's well beyond my little ken of expertise (got a question about potty training?) but, you said you were a workaholic long before your spouse or children came along. I'm sure addicts do fine on their own. You've defined an enabler as a husband who wasn't intervening in the best interests of his wife and children ~ that's a harsh accusation whether you claim to be general or specific.

Not everyone in society was meant to work 40 or less hours/week. U.S. society could not function that way. To claim it could and that the family who supports such workers are "addict enablers" is really to support a society where only childless people will get the high-paying, important jobs. And we all know how "well" that is playing out in France right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 8:11am

"If you're able to keep family and home intact working 4 days, why would it be impossible for you to add the one extra day? Your children are in school for most of that 5th day?"

That fifth day makes it all doable. It is a sanity day, it is the day to be able to volunteer at school, to have doctor's appointments without taking time off, to go grocery shopping, to pick up the house uninterupted, to be able lazily read a book and gain some patience...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 8:36am

"You've defined an enabler as a husband who wasn't intervening in the best interests of his wife and children ~ that's a harsh accusation whether you claim to be general or specific."

Yes, I think enablers can be as damaging to a family as the addict/abuser. (MGB: I am NOT talking about you or your DH here, just addicts/enablers in general) Harsh or not, ti is reality.

"Not everyone in society was meant to work 40 or less hours/week. U.S. society could not function that way. To claim it could and that the family who supports such workers are "addict enablers" is really to support a society where only childless people will get the high-paying, important jobs. And we all know how "well" that is playing out in France right now"

There are lots of reasons to work long hours besides an unhealthy addiction to work (ie: workaholic).

And my kids are all past potty training, sorry.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 9:06am
He does use the Y and probably will continue, but the new gym is a frill and the cost is a good chunk of change. I only brought it up as an example of how people can talk about their expenditures without having it be a matter of asking permission. With him, he wanted to talk about coordinating with me to schedule his workouts there, which of 2 or 3 different gyms to join, etc. The fact that I might think it's frivolous to begin with or even be a bit annoyed probably didn't even occur to him. But I'm too cheap not to look closely at a thing like that, even if I do keep my mouth shut about it. It *could* be the MC if that money came out of my hide in some way, but it really doesn't. I don't even have a diamond engagement ring, and I wouldn't want one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 9:21am
Janetlynn got it right and beat me to it. Also, my dd13 has issues and lots of appointments. You wouldn't think 5 days would be much different than 4, but it is. Also, my days at work are shorter than they would be if I were using my skills in a different setting. But then my "second shift" would have to wait too long. It's a lot of pressure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 9:38am
That is true.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 9:39am
I was

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages