For SAHM's.

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For SAHM's.
1137
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 5:18pm

For all the stay at home moms, yes I'm one of them. I have one question, do you plan on going back to work once all of your children are in Elementary school? Or do you like staying at home and have decided to never work again? I am just curious, my husband and I have talked about it. I am mainly home just for my kids, to be here when they come home from school is nice, but, I tend to get bored easly, so I have decided once my 3 year old enters into Elementary school, I will be going back to work. I have thought and thought about this, my husband is fine if I decide not to work or if I decide to go back and work. We are financially stable so I can choose to stay home if I want. I would be working so i won't be bored, while the kids are at school all day long. I do plan on working part time, so i can be home when they get home from school. I'm not the type to sit around and do nothing all day, right now my kids are home half the day at least my 5 year old is, so I have her, and my youngest to be home for. I just can't envision myself sitting here all day long with no children around, going gee what do i do now, ain't gonna happen.

I'm done rambling, waiting for replies!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:11pm
Okay--it's been well over a decade since that conversation (b/c we were dating when it occured and I don't think we'd been dating very long, perhaps six mths or so). But if I recall correctly, we were talking about the future and I said I wanted to SAH (if possible) when I had kids like my mom did. DH said that his mom had SAH and if it was economically feasible, he was all in favor of having a SAHM for his kids. It wasn't like he issued some edict that he wanted a wife to SAH and raise his kids...that's just not my DH. It was very much a mutual decision and something we agreed on long before it became a reality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:15pm

I don't know, b/c I met him when I was 18 and was pretty sure after our first date that he was the one. He claims he knew the minute I walked into the room and told his pledge son, "See that blonde that just walked in? I'm going to marry her."

I'm not sure how sober he was when he made that comment though...we met at a fraternity party. LOL.

Seriously though...I imagine if I hadn't met him until I was older, I probably still would have quit my marketing job and returned to school for my masters and certification. Which means I'd have been teaching when we met instead of a college freshman. But I still would have wanted to SAH when I had kids. I've always wanted to do that. So I would have spent a few more years in the workforce than I did and had bigger student loans to pay off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:22pm

You know, I think I would have. When I was struggling w/what to do about that job, my grandfather was dying of cancer. Every night after work, I'd go visit him.

One day I was in there bitching about my job and he looked at me and said, "Christi, you don't have to work at a job you hate b/c you have an education. You can do anything! I had no education (he was functionally illiterate and quit school in 3rd grade) and I spent my life working a job I hated. But you can do so much more."

That's a pretty powerful thing to hear from someone on their deathbed and it really inspired me to go back to school. I knew I enjoyed teaching b/c I had subbed in college. I had a pretty regular gig subbing for a teacher on maternity bed rest. My last day I said to my kids (it was a SPED/BD class), "Hey guys--it's my last day, I'm graduating this weekend and moving back home." And one of them said, "So do you have a job?" And I said, "Yes." And they said, "Are you going to teach?" And I snorted and said, "Uh no! I've got a job that PAYS and I'm working in marketing." My 6'3" BD high schooler looked at me and said, "That's too bad b/c you're a really good teacher." Then he put his head down on his desk and didn't say another word until the bell rang, when I got a good-bye hug.

That stuck with me too. So do think I would have done the grad school/teaching thing b/c I'm just not cut out for corporate life. Teachers make a livable wage. It's not extravagent, but it's adequate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:23pm

That's so sweet.

I really wonder if age of marriage is more indicative of SAH/WOH than anything else. If I'd met my DH earlier and he'd had big bucks - I probably woulda stayed home too.

Of course, we'd still live in squalor, unless he hired a maid.

I say this after the dog dragged out the trash and got into nasty diapers, old fish ,coffee grinds, and misc food/paper items. So that's how I spent my lunch hour today. Ahhh, the glorious life of WAH.

With that, I'd better sign off as I've pissed away too much time here today and am now officially behind.

It helps to post here when I get lonely, or things are rough at work. Have a great weekend.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:24pm

You're right. I do get what you're saying b/c I've seen it...just not in my marriage.

But I definitely know my share of pig-men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:25pm

Why can't you say that someone pressured you into making a choice if that's the case?>>

Because you still *choose* to fall for the pressure. People can "pressure" you all they want, but they can't force you into careers.

Women "should" accept any and all choices other women make, because that's what the women's movement touts. They claim to be all about choice, but when it gets doen to it, they aren't really.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:27pm

You know, I don't keep this house as clean as I did the other one. It's twice the square footage, so I only clean the guest room when guests are coming...we don't use the second bath upstairs, so I don't have to clean it all the time...but I've lightened up a tiny bit just b/c I have so much more to clean.

I'm still ridiculously anal, but I also live w/a four year old boy and geriatric beagle, so I've had to lighten up a bit.

What IS it w/hounds and the trash? My vet suggested putting an upside down mousetrap on ours to keep the dog out, but it's just my luck that it would land on his nose or something and maim him. I feel your pain though...Woody loves to go through the trash can and wreak havoc.

Enjoy your weekend!

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:29pm
Thanks. I definetly agree with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:30pm

Yes, but there are still structural issues that make it more likely that the woman is the one who will be doing the "settling" and that's wrong. What I would like to see is a world where everybody felt freer to really choose what they want to do. Men too.

Some women aren't "all about choice." Some are. We're all carrying baggage.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 5:31pm

No, that's not correct. My DH could make almost 7 figures and be gone as many hours as you are, but that's not one of our family values. In our family, keeping both of our work schedules from being insane is what's important."

And in our home our values are such that we believe we need one SAHP while the kids are growing up. So I'm the one making 7 figures and working my arse off. I'll do it for another year, then I'll be in a position to make about 1/2 as much, but on my own schedule, with much more time for R&R with family.

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