SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:35pm
But didn't you say that you do all the household chores on your 2 days off? So while you may not be at work you are working.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:36pm
No one likes a messy home. I just cant imagine being married to a man that doesn't clean. That leaves me to do the cleaning on the weekends while he does nothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:37pm
You do things exclusively, but split the remainder of the responsibilities. That doesn't sound like much help to me. How often does your dh cook on the average?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:39pm

i never said anything about prepping your food ahead...i do that regularly ;) thats just smart. i make tomato sauce in bulk, and freeze it.

wait a minute, i'm starting to get the impression that you folks equate "i cook three meals a day" with the notion of some hippiesque martha stewart running around an organic hydroponic garden and only picking the finest grains to make my fresh bread and finest fruits and vegetables to make a 5 star meal....three times a day....

what? is this what you're thinking? where did this come from?

whether the food is served cold or hot, some things need to be cooked. whether it was cooked a day in advance or on the spot...its still *cooked food*. i still cook and prepare and serve three meals a day. granted, i'm doing more than slapping some bologna on some bread, or nuking a TV dinner, but i'm not serving a five course meal either.

if my child was in day care, i'd only be cooking one meal a day, maybe two if breakfast wasn't served at the DC.

whats the problem here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:41pm

***She said if she didn't take care of the house, children, and grocery shopping that her dh would pay someone to do it.***

No I didn't. I said that if I weren't a SAHM then he would have to pay someone to do what I do. If I had to WOH then he would have to pay for childcare and he would either have to do some cleaning and shopping or pay someone to do it. I would not do the things that I do now if I WOHFT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:44pm
Let me kake myself clear. Maybe I wasn't before. It is our money because I do all the work around the house, outside, and I make sure that the cars are scheduled for upkeep or repairs. I handle all the banking, bill paying, everything. He has very little to do around here. On his days off we usually goof off but whatever things have to be done we do them together. If I have to go shopping he keeps the kids, or vice versa. If I didn't SAH he would have to pay someone to keep the children. He would either have to do the things that I do now or pay someone to do them. I would never do all the things that I do now on top of working full time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:47pm

pasta rice and beans are three off the top of my head. (pasta for complex carbs, which give your body energy, and rice and beans for protien. when served together you get a complete protien)

potatoes need to be cooked. (i can't imagine eating a raw potato) eggplant *should* be cooked. you can eat it raw, but its not very good. (tastes like an apple gone bad) if you eat meat, meat, poultry, most fish, pork and eggs MUST be cooked, unless you are a very skilled chef or sushi chef. (you can make steak tar tar, but you have to now which citrus to use to kill the bacteria, same goes for authentic ceasar salad, and sushi must be prepared exactly right, or you will get sick).

i suppose you can simply munch on raw grains, although i don't think it'll do you much good. the bread you buy in the store has all been cooked. you don't have to cook it, but it does need to be cooked by someone.

i'm trying to remember which veggies pack a bigger nutritional punch when cooked, rather than raw....hmmm....can't remember i'll have to look it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:48pm
Sure he would. He would have to pay someone to care for the children. Since he wouldn't go to the grocery store, he would PAY someone to make his meals. He DID pay to have a cleaning lady before we got married. He DID pay to have his laundry done because he didn't want to go to the laundry mat, and since he has to dry clean his uniforms he just took all his clothes to be washed. So like I said...he WOULD pay someone to do all that I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:50pm

ah, i think i missed that.

i think the problem here is that i have been equating cold foods, with RAW foods. jarred foods are still cooked.

see how i'm thinking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 7:53pm
I see what you are thinking.:-)

Pages