SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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"***She said if she didn't take care of the house, children, and grocery shopping that her dh would pay someone to do it.***
No I didn't."
Your exact words were "If I didn't take care of the house, the children, go grocery shopping, etc he would have to pay someone to do it." Do you want me to link to it?
It was her post about "required foods" in a healthy diets. I read it as that there are certain foods that are required to be cooked to have a healthy diet. Meaning that there are a few foods one has to eat and they have to be cooked. Now I see she was talking about food *groups*. Not specific individual foods.
TOH, I never considered my cereal cooked- but now that I think about it- it is. Plus, I think of cooking as using the stove for more that boiling water- hence- pasta isn't really cooking (unless one makes it herself) in my book. I say I cooked dinner if I opened a cook book and made a recipe :)
J
"Since he wouldn't go to the grocery store, he would PAY someone to make his meals."
Why wouldn't he go to the grocery store if you both WOH? I doubt he's that incompetent.
"He DID pay to have his laundry done because he didn't want to go to the laundry mat"
LOL. That's hilarious. I wish I could pay someone to do everything I didn't want to do.
"So like I said...he WOULD pay someone to do all that I do."
So if you both WOH, he would pay someone to do all of the things you didn't do? You have previously said that if you both WOH you wouldn't do 100% of the housework and childcare. So would he "hire out" his half? Has he ever taken care of himself and done regular adult things like his own laundry, grocery shopping and cooking? You're making him sound quite incompetent and lazy and I doubt he's *that* incompetent and lazy...
>>>I don't get it, why should your dh go to a work that has unbelievable hours and THEN come home and have to do things in the house?? Helping out is one thing but expected to do certain jobs (besides outside work on days off) that the SAHM can easily do is not right.<<<
this is a line of thinking that can easily go astray IMO. this is how my DH started thinking, and began taking advantage of me, for the very resasons you state here.
the way we resolved it? when he is at work, i am at work. we treat the SAH bit just like any other job. so when he's off work, i'm off work, and we need to both chip in and treat the chores as if we both had full time emplyment. not that there's much left to do mind you...but he's not getting off scott free either.
i'm a SAHM, not a personal servant here to do his bidding while he sits an plays video games.
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