SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:21pm
I don't see the big deal. When I am getting ready for a party, I usually have a LOT to do. It's not unheard of for my dh to be cleaning the bathroom during that time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:23pm
Ok, I did that job for years, it IS hard. It's not standing around all day doing nothing, that's for sure. And a 16 yr old couldn't do it, or I wouldn't have had to fire almost every employee I ever had under the age of 20.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:25pm
Ok, I take everything I said back. I was assuming a regular, nice husband, not the jerk you just described!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:29pm

sure, if you're a manager.

i've worked in retail selling clothes. i've worked in fast food reteraunts. i've worked in upscale resteraunts. i've worked as a carpet cleaner, worked as a bouncer, worked in retail selling cigars, worked as a an insurance salewoman, free lance atrist, life gaurd, barista, as a tutor, an assistant teacher, a moderator, you name it, i've probably done it.

standing around all day selling clothes is not hard. it may be boring...that much is true. but it aint hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:34pm

the sad part is that he really is nice...or he used to be.

his family (the whackjob inlaws whom i now fully understand why he hates them) royally messed him up as a kid, hence the NPD. when he went into the military he got away from them, got good training, and really grew up.

then he moved back and the poisonous, backstabbing, malicous little beasties got to him again. the longer we lived next to them, the worse he got.

now things are changing. we'ved moved away, he's agreed to go into counsiling...his personality is already changing back into the sweet, romantic man i once knew.

its gonna take time...a lot of time and counsiling (for me too, i have a great deal of resentment) before we heal. but i'm willing to give it a whirl...and we'll see what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:06pm

Did not. Just said that my denomination was of the "Judge not, lest ye be judged..." school of thought. Hence the logic for performing gay marriages and all sorts of other controversial stuff! B/c the denomination tries to love and accept (and not judge) like Jesus did.

And actually, I take DS lots of places in the van, but don't travel the road I was on unless I'm coming home from the RE. So your logic doesn't really hold, although in fairness to the debate, you couldn't possibly have known that. I've started taking another route home anyway, so it's a moot point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:11pm
Apparently having and expressing a differing opinion makes one "judgemental."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:13pm
If it works for you and makes you happy...go for it. It just wouldn't work for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:14pm
Uh huh. Sure you were.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:16pm
When my son was that age, he preferred his veggies frozen. I'd cook the chicken or whatever meat he was eating, but he often ate frozen mixed veggies frozen. Ditto bagels. He was a late teether and I think the cold soothed his gums.

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