SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:28am
I have 2 kids so I know what it means to stay home. A 6-month old takes 2 naps a day. There is no reason in that probably 2 hour span, a house can not be cleaned up and maybe a meal started. Why should her dh have to come home and then do something in the house?
With 2 kids, I am still able to have the entire house cleaned, laundry done and a meal cooked before my dh comes home and neither of them nap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:28am
Cleaning your house over and above certain very minimal standards is optional.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:28am
I don't have a problem with that unless you don't get your housework done and then expect your dh to do it after he works all day while you relaxed at your parents house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:30am
My gosh, it's not like there's 40 hours a week of household related chores.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:31am
No, she was lazying around (pretty much told by her own husband!!).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:32am
But what if you could and would do all of those things, on top of WOH FT?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:33am
My dh does make an effort and helps clean up toys and such but he would never think to go and dust or mop. That is just not him. I don't love cleaning but I am more a clean freak and want everything in tip top shape all the time. He has more of a "tommorow's another day attitude". I only think that way when I am exhausted at the end of the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:35am

It's not that it's "appropriate," it's just the way it is for many men.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:36am

"but lets face it, a 16 year old could fill his position."


Doesn't that bother or depress him?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:38am
I'm with you, I like to do any work I have first and then play.

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