SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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It is not the point of the dh cleaning but that she did not do it while she had all week AND that day too.
I don't feel that the person who works out of the home should have to come home and do major cleaning jobs in the home. I totally understand the helping of things but not so the other person can just hang out all day. I can understand a day or two just hanging out with the kids, doing things with them, visiting friends or relatives but those other 3 days should be to do laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. Each person has a job, one inside and one outside. If I worked inside the house fulltime, I would not expect my dh to come home and clean the bathroom as that was "my" job that could get done in the 8 hours I was home just as I wouldn't be expected to go to my dh's job and do something he couldn't or didn't want to do.
1st, I am very sorry that you have a bad marriage.
2nd, WHY are you still in this marriage?? This is not healthy for you and your baby. You said you worked before he did so there is no reason why you would have to stay for the money aspect. You CAN do it alone.
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I am just the type of person to go, go, go and then collapse (unfortunately!!). As right now, I am on the computer ONLY because all the beds have been made, the kids have had their baths, the bathroom cleaned, breakfasts eaten, dishes cleaned and I am dressed and it is 9:45. I just have to dry my hair, get makeup on and vaccuum. Laundry is all done until I get more detergent!! (none left though). I like to leave my house in the morning knowing it is clean (well, yes, there is usually some dust, not alot though!) and I will come home to it clean.
My dh's famous words to me are always "Martha Stewart is not stopping by". I tell him "You never know, she has a house in the Hamptons, she might stop by here on the way!".
"I don't see how a SAHM could possibly ask their dh to do something like clean the bathrooms or cook dinner when they are home 7 days a week to do this."
You are assuming that all SAHMs actually "stay at home". Nothing could be further from the truth. There are days when I am away from the house longer hours than my dh (especially if I have an evening activity or event planned).
No, but I was surprised at how strongly she defended her opinion that I was incredibly rude. I wouldn't be from just anyone, since this is a debate board, but to then come back and claim not to judge?
I don't have a nanny, but I can still see the difference here. The nanny probably picks up what the kids mess up, or ensures that they do, but she's not cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, and all that stuff needs to be done just as often as when you're a SAHM if your kids are in the house all day with a nanny.
Lora
"I do much more than he does around the house and for the children."
Most women do!!
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