SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:31pm

Thank you, and that really puts the nail in the coffin of MA007's original argument, which was that she has muuuuch less free time than a WOHM because she has to "cook and serve three nutritious and delicious squares a day". And I called her on that one, because, quite frankly, how much time, honestly, is one going to spend "cooking" for a 14 mo? To those of us who have BTDT many times over, it's just not plausible, no matter how much she wants to justify it.

Then, of course, she spun the thread into a discussion of crap junk food, 200lb babies, and string cheese.

Whatever, with a side of eye-roll.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:33pm

BWAH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:44pm

Very good post. Plus, we always clean the hall bathroom just before a party. If it was cleaned the day before it would still have to be cleaned right before the party. Why? Two boys aged 7 and 9 who have trouble hitting the target. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:49pm
My brother and his wife racked up over $50K in debt while she SAH. My youngest nephew went to school and she went back to work. Her first two years back at work they completely paid off their debt and now they bank her entire paycheck and still live off of my brothers income. I guess it is just up to the people involved as to what is important financially.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:51pm
Why is that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:53pm
I dont know what cleaning over what is necessary is. I clean my house, that is about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:54pm
Your house gets cleaned only once every other week?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:54pm

How do you know she didn't clean the bathroom during the week? In order to get a bathroom clean enough for a party, dh or I (it is truly either one) cleans it a few hours before the party. This is because it gets dirty EVERY SINGLE MORNING so regardless of how often it was cleaned during the week, it needs it again slightly before the party. I don't see anything weird or slobby about this. It's just a very small bathroom and it takes only one morning's routine for toothpaste to splatter the mirror, water to be splashed on the floor, and the towels to need changing.

In our house, and probably in their house too, the standards of what is clean enough for a party are quite a bit higher than for everyday use. Cleaning during the week does NOT ever mean that no further cleaning need be done once the party is about to start.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:54pm
Why do you have a problem with it at all? She isn't your spouse. It is your brother in law. If he has a problem with it then so be it. However it really has nothing to do with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:57pm

***But what if you could and would do all of those things, on top of WOH FT?***

I wouldn't do all those things. Never happen. If I am WOHFT I will not come home to be a maid, and a chef. Not happening.

*** Then how would the fact that you SAH make his money your money?***

I didn't say it was my money. I said it was our money.

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