SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 12:59pm
Whenever we have a party, I always clean more aggresively the week prior. Including the bathroom. But every single time we have had a party, the bathroom has needed cleaning just hours before the party too. No exceptions. Why? Because the standards of cleanliness for a party are higher. The towels should be fresh. That morning's toothpaste should be off the mirror. That morning's shower water should be completely gone from anywhere in the bathroom (dh gets the floor pretty wet) and so on. The bathroom should always be cleaned just prior to the party regardless of how often it was cleaned in the week prior. And it shouldn't matter who does it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:00pm
That may not be how they do things. Maybe taking care of her children is all she can handle during the day. I personally can balance cleaning, cooking, yard, and kids. I know some people that can't do what I can do and others that do more. It is really an individual thing. If your BIL has issues with his wife he should be the one bugged about it. I don't understand why it bothers you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:01pm
Exactly. When we're getting ready for a party, EVERYTHING gets cleaned, whether it seems to need it or not. Bathrooms, especially.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:02pm

***Very true, but what about the next day? Most SAHM's are not active 5 days a week, 8 hours a day.***

Neither are WOHP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:06pm
Better yet why it is bothering her so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:06pm
So? She could clean the bathroom every single day of the week and it would still need cleaning the day of the party unless it was some sort of guest bathroom that was "off limits" for use once it was clean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:08pm
No. Why would you ask that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:09pm

< personally can balance cleaning, cooking, yard, and kids. I know some people that can't do what I can do and others that do more. It is really an individual thing.>

Very true. It also went thru phases with me. There were certain stages when I SAH that it was all I could do to find time to pee, much less clean or do anything with the house. It would be like we woke up and then suddenly it was time for bed. Other times it was no problem.

And yeah, the only thing that bothers me about this story is that the husband is complaining to others about the wife. That is *so* very uncool.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:09pm
That, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:11pm
Oh I agree. I don't think anyone should complain to others about their spouse. My DH could care less if I cleaned up or not. He knows that I like a clean house, but I am not a freak about it. Most days I don't even start cleaning until after dinner. The kids (especially in the summer) are nuts and they mess it up anyway. The only thing I do daily is vacuum the downstairs every morning. Our dogs sleep in the house at night and I hate the dog hair that is on the carpet.

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