SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:51pm

"You seem awfully bothered by the fact that the husband cleaned the bathroom, ONCE, for a party."


But it's okay that you're awfully bothered that some of our spouses are lazy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:53pm
Good for your brother and SIL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:56pm

Probably the same reason your DH works the type of job and number of hours he does -- it's what works for our family.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:58pm
There's a difference between a superficial cleaning and deep cleaning.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:00pm
Just exactly like the division of household labor between me and my DH has absolutely nothing to do with you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:02pm

"I know some people that can't do what I can do and others that do more. It is really an individual thing."


That's why if I have the energy to WOH FT and do much of the household work, even though you wouldn't live that way, "it shouldn't bother you."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:02pm

Not only is he complaining, he's complaining about cleaning the bathroom once for a party- a New Year's Eve party! (from a later post). That was almost seven months ago! Which tells me that either:

1)he's so unspeakably lazy that the affront of having to clean the bathroom ONCE for a party still bugs him even after 7 months have gone by and he's still complaining

or

2)he's not still complaining after 7 months- the original complaint happened closer to the actual party. But hazeleyes had heard no complaints more recent than that and so had to go back 7 months to find an example of this SAHM's "laziness".

In either case, a WOHD who once had to clean a bathroom 7 months ago doesn't seem put-upon to me at all. And if that incident of cleaning put his nose out of joint so much, then he is truly not pulling his weight. It sounds like he thinks that holding a job is the ONLY work he should ever have to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:03pm
Well, I'm "active" 45 hours a week for work plus active for my personal life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:55pm

You questioned why PJM would need to clean the bathrooms and kitchen when she had a cleaning person every other week.
I have a cleaning person every other week, but I clean the bathroom and the kitchen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:14pm
??????? I work 9-5, 5 days a week.

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