SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:15pm
This is not my bil, it is my dh's cousin (the wife) and YES, he has issues but he never has stood up to her so it has continued through the years. At the time she has a very able, 4-year old who didn't need constant attention.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:22pm

We have been very close to these people so yes, we do know what goes on in the house. She was an only girl who was spoiled and felt after she got married that she was the queen.

I never said it was wrong for the person working out of the house to help a little but I would NEVER expect my dh to do the majority of the housework if I stayed home and he worked. If staying at home is considered a job then you should be doing that job to the best of your ability as any outside of the house job would.

You would not go to your dh's job on your time off and help him do his work, why should they come home on their time off and start doing things that should and could have been done in the 8 hours they were gone?? (Again I am talking about big things like cleaning, laundry, cooking, not like straightening up, helping with the kids, things like that. If the SAHM expects them to pick up what they didn't do, WHAT is their job then, just taking care of the kids?? Once they become self-sufficient, that is a cop out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:25pm
lololol!!!! My daycare ONLY serves hot food for lunch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:32pm

Ok, to butt in, this was many years ago, not this year AND this is not the first time he has had to do things around the house that SHE should have been doing staying at home all day.
SHE IS LAZY!! Whe was treated like a queen her entire life and has not changed. I don't have a problem with it but HE should and should have spoken up years ago!!

I was just telling about someone I knew, it has NOTHING to do about me personally. I could care less if her dh is a wimp!! I'm sure there are many of them out there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:34pm
Well I guess they think because we woh we get to have 3 hour lunches like some of their dh's. I WISH!! I have to be back not a second later than 1 hour and get no other breaks, except bathroom when I work. I am not lazying around having fun all day, it is stressful, hard work. I work because I have to, not because I want to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:39pm

>>You would not go to your dh's job on your time off and help him do his work,<<

Personally, I do that, quite often.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 3:41pm
Then you are an exception. I don't know many people, unless they own the business with their spouse that help them out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:00pm

Actually, you did. In post 16893.462 you stated, "I just still don't get this staying home bit and not doing anything??"

As for the rest of your post, like my DS would say, "Well duh." Motherhood in general requires prioritizing, organization, and having a routine. Just b/c you can't get it together before 10am on the days you SAH doesn't mean every SAHM has that issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:25pm

My son goes to preschool for three hours twice a week. And only having one child isn't a choice for some people. DH and I would love more children, but that isn't happening for us, despite our best efforts which includes my spending many of DS's preschool mornings at my fertility doctor's office.

Sometimes when DS is at preschool, I go to the gym. Other times I clean the house or do my volunteer work (I've spent most of naptime dealing w/that today). At preschool, my only child gets socialization w/other kids for six hours a week. My getting stuff done while he's there is a side benefit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:28pm
Jeez, you'd think someone who cooks three meals a day would know that it's steak tartare.

 

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