SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:32pm
I don't go into the office, but I help DH w/sorting resumes, calling and setting up appts for interviews, etc. from home. Especially when he's between assistants.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:33pm

Very true and I did say if I did stay home, I would then have a schedule but I don't when I do.
Most of the single girls I work with can't imagine getting 2 kids ready and myself everyday for work and I tell them you get into a routine. I'm sure there are many SAHM's who have a routine and can get out of the house early everyday.

My point is I can't imagine how the dh feels it is ok to come home to a dirty house and no food on the table when their wife was home all day (or some of the day) and then they have to pick up the slack. AND...yes I really think it depends on the ages of your children. Someone with very small children are doing much more than someone with a 8 year old and maybe an 11 year old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:42pm
No he works the job he does because that is what he wanted to do when he went to college. He works the hours he does because those are the hours the job demands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:44pm
You are right it doesn't. However I didn't bring up your division in your home. I also didn't complain about it. If you say something on a debate board you will probably be questioned about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:46pm

***That's why if I have the energy to WOH FT and do much of the household work, even though you wouldn't live that way, "it shouldn't bother you."***

LOL. It isn't about energy I just am not about to work at my job 40 hours per week and come home to work more hours because my DH can't be bothered it. Uh BTW...Your situation doesn't bother me. I never said it did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:46pm
While you may be at work. You aren't constantly *active* at work are you? If you were you wouldn't be able to post on a message board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:47pm
No I didn't. I said why is that? Meaning why is it that she does the majority of work at home and with the kids. You assumed I meant her cleaning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:49pm
You aren't constantly active at work. You are posting on a message board during your working hours correct?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:50pm
Then that is his problem. If he doesn't stand up and say something that is his issue no one elses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:52pm

***Well I guess they think because we woh we get to have 3 hour lunches like some of their dh's. I WISH!!***

My DH works 10 hour shifts. He doesn't get to have dinner or lunch. He runs through a drive thru if he is lucky and eats in his patrol car.

***I am not lazying around having fun all day, it is stressful, hard work. I work because I have to, not because I want to.***

I am sure you work hard. However I drew my conclusions because you are posting on a message board during working hours. Not your lunch hour.

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